A.Fib is not A.Fun or Atrial Fibrillation (It’s like a kick in the chest!!!!)

Posted by: fff In: Blogs|Popular

I was dead for 0.25 seconds twice on Thursday. No really, I’ve got the EKGs to prove it. Full-on VH1 Behind the Music rock star style!!! Burn out, not fade away. I didn’t see the light (see Poltergeist – Carol Anne). I didn’t see Jesus (we had a nice conversation, however) or the Devil and I didn’t crap my pants…thank goodness.

It’s Thursday morning, I’m lying on a stretcher in the ER, wires going everywhere, IV fluids pumping, the crash (as in “crash&burn”) cart by my side, and my heart’s doing the neutron dance. I’m in a cold sweat and pretty close to pale. My chest feels exquisitely weird, kinda like that little flutter you get sometimes after a pot of coffee…just like that, but non-stop. I haven’t had any drugs (over the counter or otherwise), coffee, or mysterious poisonings from my wife (yet). Hmmm…a drummer in the wrong rhythm, funny…I get it. Damn the IRONY…the HUMANITY…the HORROR!!! This…could very well ruin my day. The doc says I’ve basically got three options:

1. drugs that slow down the heart rate & maybe the rhythm will return to normal, maybe… 2. straight ride the lightning electrical conversion – you know…..clear, clear, you clear, I’m clear, and bzzzzzsssttt…nice and bye bye chest hair. 3. stay in this rhythm, throw some clots to the head/lungs, stroke out, and live miserably ever after…great.

Dog Groomer

Preparing for the worst case scenario, a nurse comes in with towels & and Bic disposable razors (no water/no foam) for my chest hair. She’s thinking Chewbacca at the dog groomer and I’m thinking Eddie Scissorhands in the Amazon.

I’ll take what’s behind door #1, Monty. DRUGS baby!!! Whatever you got! Smoking chest hair ain’t my thing! But do whatever you gotta do! I just wanna live! I just wanna tell my wife I love her. And what about the kids? Who’s gonna look after the kids when I’m gone? Relax…you’re not gonna die…and you don’t have any kids. Right… Just a lack of blood flow to your head… Brilliant…I feel my IQ dropping and I think my crack’s showing out the back of this hospital gown. I mean…I not dumb boy in dress. Breathe…because we’re about to stop your heart. What?!?!? For the appetizer, we’d like to try a drug that actually makes the the heart stop. It’s just for a split second and it might(read might) reset the heart’s electrical system.

DRUG WARNING!!! Use the little boy’s room, lay down, relax, & close your eyes before this drug happens to you. As you can imagine, your body instantly “goes on strike” when your heart stops. And you don’t want to be in the midst of operating heavy machinery, I promise.

So…this is where my heart stops with minimal drama, no choirs of angels calling my name or hordes of demons slithering about, just:

2 seconds of chill (I mean super-chill) 2 seconds of warm (like your entire body immersed in a warm bath) 2 seconds of heavy (like one of those gravity rides at the fair) then it’s Good Morning Vietnam and WE’RE BACK!!!

Atrial Fibrillation

They try two doses…cause we really want to test my mortality. Now, I’m admittedly a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but flying ignorant in the reaper’s face while dodging his scythe (yes…it’s really a scythe, not a sickle) is a little more X-TREME!!! than I typically enjoy. And the whole time I’m thinking that I don’t have a great 2 day bender, 12 pots of coffee, 43 tequila shots, farm animals, firetrucks, and a trashed hotel room story. Several hours, tests, and drugs later; I get to spend the night in the Cardiac Care Unit (CCU) and I’m in a heart rhythm called atrial fibrillation (a.fib for short). And an interesting version of it called “lone” a.fib that can just randomly occur in healthy people. “Lone” meaning that we don’t really know what caused it.

And just as simply as I went into a.fib, I converted back to normal rhythm. I mean…after a few thousand dollars of medical care & several A-Team reruns later, of course. And let me tell you one thing people…peeing in a plastic urinal while lying in bed is really hard. So…if you feel something funny in your chest (Arrhythmias, Heart Attack, Stroke, & Cardiac Arrest), have it checked out today. Right now even. Don’t delay, it could save your life!!! Lastly…A big shout-out to all the ER staff, Nurses, Techs, Docs, and Chaplains who looked after me. Especially the CCU nurses, who kept me comfy and warned me about the infamous stuffed pepper entree (FYI diarrhea can increase length of hospital stay).

currently in the appropriate rhythm, fff

Brandy Baldwin

You always have a way of making serious things have a little humor. Glad you are ok!!!
Welcome to days.

Brandy
Troy

Hell, hopefully you have your arrhythmias under control, if not have you tried using Taurine, the amino acid, doctors in Japan use it to treat Heart Disease, and one of its effects is correcting cardiac arrhythmias.
Ashley I.

Dude, I have missed you lately. This blog is so you….I almost feel like you are right here talking to me. You are going to be missed on nights, but you have to take care of yourself. Take care. See ya soon.
http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=141067 A.Fib is not A.Fun or Atrial Fibrillation (It?s like a kick in the chest!!!!) – Health Forum – Hip Forums

[...] A.Fib is not A.Fun or Atrial Fibrillation (It?s like a kick in the chest!!!!) My latest health musings… http://www.fastandloud.com/fbomb/af…k-in-the-chest/ fff [...]
Chris A

I had the same happen to me after taking my early morning Piss. Felt kind of funny and weak. Went to work and it only got worse. I drove myself (not the smart thing to do) to the hospital and after 2 day’s of trying the medication way they cartioverted me. You know CHARGE TO 400, CLEAR!!! They did however knock me out. I woke you feeling like someone hit me in the chest with a bat. 2 years later we did it all again except my impatient doctor didn’t wait for the drugs to take effect, he just blasted me. I think that was his tough love way to say TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF.
Stay Well
Chris A.
http://na Em

I suffer from AFib also. Very strange feeling of someone sitting on your chest, trouble breathing and you know when you’re heart drops a couple hundred extra beats right away. I spent 3 years trying to convince my family doc something wasn’t right. I was dizzy and almost fainting all the time and my breathing was less than preferred… and to this day, he still says I don’t have anything wrong with me, even though I’ve been diagnosed by a cardiologist.

I am on Rythmol twice a day and Toprol to help both rhythm and rhyme, along with other medications, but still have frequent episodes.
I hope I never have to be shocked back. That’s scarey enough to make someone go into cardiac arrest just thinking about it!

Thank goodness you came back! And thanks for the laugh at something no so funny. It eases the fright of it all just a little.

Good Luck Chewbacca! ;)
http://forums.medi-smart.com/thread7231.html Atrial Fib. – a nurse on the other side of the needle (humor) – God knows I need it – The Nurses Forum

[...] Atrial Fib. – a nurse on the other side of the needle (humor) – God knows I need it Hey guys/gals, Please checkout my latest rantings on the joys of a.fib. (while trying to be a good patient – eye opening!!!) http://www.fastandloud.com/fbomb/afi…-in-the-chest/ Much love & sympathy to arrhythmia sufferers. I hope I can bring 30 secs of laughter to you. Currently deep breathing & trying not to think about every heartbeat, fff – RN, BSN [...]
kagey

http://www.afibbers.net/forum/list.php?f=4

Get yourself to the URL above and start reading it religiously. I’ve been in AF for four years, and this group of people is far, far more knowledgeable than what you will pick up in a year by yourself.

The sign on is afibbers (lower case) and the password is
2sesame (also lower case) Read the Questions about Afib at the top, and when someone tells you to order Hans Larsen’s first book on Lone AFib, do it. Meanwhile, read every day. Unless you went into AF after heavy drinking, it’s probably with you, off and on (paroxysmal they call it) for the duration, which means the rest of your life unless you do something about it. All my best. Kagey
Joy Ray

What a sense of humor! I needed that! I have recently been diagnosed with “your electrical system is out of whack, and we need to get you a monitor for 3 weeks, or implant one under your skin before possibly going to a Pace-maker” I always thought a Pace-maker was for old folks.. I am only 70, and very very young…anyway I stopped taking my medication after 30 years and hearing it can cause a heart attack if I had a diseased heart, which I don’t…just the “wiring” going off the track…somewhat like a train going off in another direction, but just about 2-3 times a day, and only for seconds…problem is that during those couple of seconds while waiting for my train to get back on track, my heart stops for probably 2 seconds. I am so aware of it…feel like I am starting to have an out of body experience, which I have had many times in the past, only with my heart beating, and lasting maybe 20 minutes… my body feels like it is totally relaxed and sinking in the chair or the bed but I feel I am leaving it… Is this what it really feels like to die? I am scared out of my wits each time….knowing I will come back; I hope.
Then there was the fluttering which I looked up and after realizing this could cause a stroke, I almost had a stroke thinking about having one…so back on the meds immediately. Tomorrow I go to Kaiser for a monitor…whoopee….
Can anyone relate?
Thanks.
Joy Ray
Rayofjoy@aol.com
im having chest pain at 20

haha your anecdote cracked me up.. i mean dying isnt naturally funny, but i enjoyed your close encounter with death. ill probably die soon. its nice to know that ill feel like im on a gravity ride at the carnival when I pass. haha. cheers carnival rides and elephant ears.
Joan

What a great post about your afib. I too suffer from this malady and you made me laughabout it which is something i don't do to much of. Hope you continue to stay in sinus and to all my fellow a fibbers, good luck and stay strong!
http://www.gpscardvd.com Car DVD Players

Its nice to know that ill feel like im on a gravity ride at the carnival when I pass.

A.Fib is not A.Fun or Atrial Fibrillation (It’s like a kick in the chest!!!!)

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