Lotus Gas-Sipper

Lotus Cars seems to be the latest car manufacturer to be jumping on the Hybrid / EV bandwagon. It took them long enough, seeing that a Tesla Roadster IS a Lotus Elise. Yes, they modified it to damn-near a nth of its life, but they still start as an Elise. You would think that Tesla would creating an EV Elise and make a little competition for Tesla, right?  Wrong. That would be WAAAAAAAAY too obvious. Lotus is actually stuffing waterproof speaker systems into a Prius(es?) to play fake exhaust sounds at low speeds and red lights.

So, it seems that one of the biggest problems car manufacturers and our government are facing is not: the 15-30% overall drop in car sales, or the effect of the dramatic increase in gas prices, or the instability and war in the Middle East, or global economic recession; it’s Political Correctness.

It’s spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to figure out how to make fake exhaust sounds emanate from an electric car so that blind people won’t get run over – despite the fact that research shows that only “an average of five legally blind pedestrians per year were killed in motor vehicle accidents in the US.” and “No deaths of legally blind pedestrians involved a Prius.”

OK, so granted we red-blooded, meat-eating Americans love our exhaust systems. We spend thousands of dollars on them every year. There are even rumors of how Pontiac painstakingly (and at a fair expense) modeled the exhaust note for the redesigned 2004 GTO after the mid-1960’s GTOs. It kinda goes like this:

More horsies – check.

More torque – check.

More air flow – check.

More fast – check.

More loud – check.

Replacing a factory exhaust is a given and usually one of the first things modders do to bump up the fun. But if I spend $109k on a Tesla Roadster, I want to hear that electric motor whine like nobody’s business.  I want every ricer and every knuckle-dragger to hear that Remote Control car sound as I leave them at the light. All torque – All the time.

Bark, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, bark, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

That’s a two speed Tesla trans for you straight-liners out there.

Just for fun, we put together a few of our favorite exhaust sounds. Maybe Lotus will let us load different sounds for our various moods.
Mustang GT Exhaust






Corvette Z06 Exhaust







Apache Helicopter






Lawnmower






Dewalt Drill






Electric Knife






Enjoy, fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Do Hybrids or EVs really need Fake Exhaust sounds for the Blind?

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Hands off my Autotuner!

I found the following spoof public service announcement from Kid Rock about stealing pretty hilarious and down right poignant.

Even though, I really haven’t been a fan of Kid Rock since Devil Without a Cause (DWAC), I still think that he is/will be an important figure in the annals of rock ‘n’ roll history. Kid has figured out that you don’t have to be segregated into some little sub-genre to be successful. He is the master of laying it all out the table (fast and loud style!). He’s rock, he’s rap, he’s country. He’s been on MTV, MTV2, VH1, Fuse, probably CMT, and maybe BET all in the same year.The DWAC album combined rock, metal, rap, and hiphop like no other. It was a brilliantly bastardized culmination of struggling to make it, personal hardship, and borderline poverty – which ALWAYS makes for the best music (ex. Guns ‘n’ Roses – Appetite for Destruction, Prince – Purple Rain, Black Crowes – Shake Your Money Maker, etc., etc.)

I'm f*ing rich.

Kid’s follow-up album and 7th historical release, History of Rock, was a compilation of songs from the 5 albums prior to DWAC. It only contained one new song. At the peak of his new found popularity, he knew he could sell Pet Rocks for a profit.  Simply put, it was a money-generating stopgap while he toured the DWAC album and a fiscally sound idea at that time.  Most people don’t understand that globe-trotting the world to support your current album (which you still owe money on) while your record label is threatening to drop you if you don’t keep churning out hits is rough business. Major label sophomoric efforts are usually the nail in the coffin for most new bands. You had 18-20 years to make that first album, and 18 months (while you are trying to adjust to your new life) to make the follow-up. Ask any songwriter – that $hit is hard.

So 10 years, 3 Pam Anderson relationships (including 3 Tommy Lee reruns), 5 albums, several hits, and several new band members later; I have great respect for Robert James Ritchie. He’s a a true white trash hero. But I probably won’t be buying or stealing Kid’s next album until he can grab me by the seat of my pants the way the intro to Bawitdaba did (and still does!)

MY NAME IS F…………………….FFF BABY!

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Kid Rock’s PSA on Stealing – Music, iPods, Clothes, Cars, Laptops

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What is your major malfunction?

I’m not usually the political type, but poet John S. Hall lays it down on US Foreign Policy.

“God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?”

So sad, so funny, so true…

Born & bred – Stars and Bars baby!

fff

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US Foreign Policy to a T – America Kicks Ass!

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I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. Most of us don’t, I suppose. My parents drilled me on the importance of getting an education and a good job (which I did). They didn’t teach me, however, what to do with the money that I made. So, little ol’ fff finds himself over-educated, over-worked, and still living paycheck to paycheck. And I hate it. So with a little help from the web and the brilliant F&L readership (that’s you BTW), I’m hoping to put together some down & dirty money management tips. I’m gonna make this a multi-part post that evolves as needed. Feel free to add some on if you’ve got some insider secrets and correct me where I’ve over simplified things. And like my dad always says “get paid for using your brain, not your back.”

Seven years of college down the drain!

1. Make some money.

I’m not gonna delve into how you make your money. You gotta bust your hump. Whether that means going legit with the whole college thing, or being the best pole dancer you can be, or through the “procurement and distribution” of specific merchandise. Whatever your game, just get a job and keep it. Oh…playing PartyPoker is not a “job” idiot, it’s a hobby.

2. Get a bank account.

Get both checking & savings. I’m amazed how many people don’t have bank accounts. Do it and don’t ask questions. Choose your bank wisely, however. Read the fine print. Some banks offer free online bill-pay, money transfers, free checking, etc. And some banks charge ridiculous amounts for withdrawals from non-system ATMs (on top of what the ATM’s bank charges you). This fee (usually $0.50-$2.50) could easily push you into the $5-$10 per transaction range (depending on which stripclub ATM you’re using) just to get some folding green. If you travel a lot, you need to find a bank with branches nationwide.

3. Save some of it.

If you can, have your paycheck directly deposited into your bank account and a portion of it (10-20%) automatically put into a savings account. It hurts way less than having to transfer the money yourself. And it’s there when your fridge goes on the blink. Put any bonus you get straight into savings. Checkout EmigrantDirect or INGDirect for higher interest accounts.

Unicorns and Pixies help the Electrons

4. Establish your credit.

If you’re just starting out in the game, this may be a little tricky. You’ll probably run into the “how do I get a loan without credit & how do I get credit with a loan.” Well, you’ve got a few options here; some better than others. Most people start out by getting a credit card or two. It’s quick, easy, and fairly painless. However, you don’t want to screw yourself by dropping loads of debt on credit cards with high interest rates. Do you ever wonder why you get 2-3 credit card applications a day in the mail even though you don’t have a job? Because credit card companies make money hand-over-fist when you buy things you can’t afford. Then, you don’t pay it off for years and you end up paying for it three times over (guilty here). You just had to have that $1500 Acoustic Zen Gargantua Power Cord (you read it right – F*ing power cord!!!) for your home stereo, right?

5. Make a monthly budget.

And follow it (guilty). Keep good records of your transactions and your money flow. Banks make mistakes too and it’s your money. Checkout Quicken, Microsoft Money, or the free GNUcash.

6. Spend wisely.

Pay with cash or debit card. Don’t use your credit card if you don’t have to. And if you do, then pay them off this month.

7. Check your credit report.

Your credit report includes information on where you live, if you pay your bills, whether you’ve been sued, arrested, or filed for bankruptcy. Every time you go to get a loan, an apartment, some insurance, and/or apply for some jobs; this information tags right along with you. Here’s the federal trade commission’s take on your right to a free annual credit report. The ONLY legitimate site to obtain your free online credit report is here.

Too pretty for jail.

8. Pay your taxes.

Yes, it sucks, but so does an audit. And jail sucks even worse. Do you really want to tell your cell mate “Little Tony” that you’re in for tax evasion. SooooWeeee…good times. Pay your taxes. There are free filing services available every year (if you know where to look). Some employers off free or discounted filing services as well. Check it out where you work.

9. Do NOT File Bankruptcy.

DON’T do it. Seriously. This is the absolute last ditch effort in getting a hold on your finances. Bankruptcy stains your financial records for several years, making recovery even harder. There are two types of bankruptcy filings available: Chapter 7 & Chapter 13. Chapter 13 bankruptcy allows you to repay your debt over time and they don’t take your stuff, but it stays on your credit report for seven years. Chapter 7, the more serious form of bankruptcy, wipes out most of your debts. However, it doesn’t erase federal taxes, child support, alimony, and/or student loans. You have to sell most of your stuff (or they take it). Most states usually allow you to keep your clothes, a car, your furniture, your life insurance, retirement funds, the tools of your trade, and your home most of the time (but not always). Chapter 7 stays on your credit record for 10 years. The only real winner here is the bankruptcy lawyer who gets a nice cut of your dough regardless of what happens to you.

Stay tuned for…D&D Money Management

Part 2 – Saving It

Part 3 – Spending It (wisely)

cha-ching, fff

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Down and Dirty Money Management, part 1: The Basics

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In Myspace Ruins Yourlife, I tried giving you the lowdown with text about how people are posting incriminating things about themselves on the internet and throwing abandon to the wind. Sometimes 95 pictures is worth more than 95k words. ALL of these pictures are from PUBLIC profiles on Myspace.com (i.e. they posted these themselves).

Rated NQSFW (not quite suitable for work)!!!!

And yes…you do look like a slut.

See…I told you.

P.S. Whitney…Put down the pipe, put that man down, and please come home.
XOXOXO!
fff

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Children are the Future – Myspace Video

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HEY AMERICA!!! – WATCH YOUR OWN D@*$ KIDS!!! (so the government can use my tax money to drop bombs on people…). However, if your golf game is more important than your kids…let’s see if the government can keep them safe.

PAGE ONE

PAGE TWO

Strong work. I already wrote this article for free. (see Myspace ruins Yourlife). You could-a borrowed it (and gave me a shout on my taxes!)
fff

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The FBI gets dibs on the Myspace, Facebook, Friendster frenzy

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Sheila’s Wheels, a female-only U.K. auto insurer, recently announced the launch of the “world’s first female-friendly seatbelt.” Unfortunately, in their February 2 – PRNewswire press release, they went so far as to say a “seatbelt innovation for REAL WOMEN“. And fat guys too, I guess…but we thumb our noses to you small breasted girls out there. Pretty bold, I’d say (or purposely controversial). Another nail in the self-esteem coffin (from other women, no less). S.W. teamed up with MIRA to design a simple S-Clip device that relocates the seatbelt to the middle of the chest, “directly between the cleavage…minimizes flattening…Top engineers have designed a new device that prevents the belt strap causing discomfort across the chest and aims to get more female drivers buckling up. One in five women complained of discomfort across the chest when they were buckled-up – especially those with larger breasts. Alarmingly, this ‘discomfort’ is potentially endangering the lives of female motorists:Almost a quarter (23%) reduce the effectiveness of their seatbelt by slipping it under their arm whilst driving; More than one in eight (14%) have failed to buckle-up at all; Over half (55%) have adjusted their belts to make them more comfortable.”

Proudly rockin' the IBTC

from the Miscellaneous Breast Augmentation FAQ

5. Does wearing a seatbelt increase my chances of rupture or trauma-induced Capsular Contracture (CC) if I have an accident? Although this is true it is also a fact that NOT wearing your seatbelt increases your chances of auto-wreck related death, so be smart and wear your seatbelt. You have a warranty on your implants, but not your life.

Spokeswoman Jacky Brown did go on to say, “we urge female motorists to make sure they always wear their seatbelt, and wear it properly – no matter how much it digs into their neck or chest.” So, at least they don’t want you to die (or irritate your $8k “enhancement”). No word on a price yet. OK ladies, and all you guys who love small breasted women…time for a REVOLT!!!!

secretly & ashamedly in “like” with K.Clarkson, fff

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Seatbelt Innovation for “REAL” Women – Ouch!

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In the article Myspace Ruins Yourlife, I briefly alluded to people using the mass “exposure” side of Myspace to divulge their assets to the world. This is the latest round-up of the various and sundry Myspace whoring on the net.

Definition.

Just to make sure that we’re all on the same page, here are some terms for you.
Whore: “referring to prostitutes, is taken from the Old English word ho-ra (from the Indo-European root ka- meaning “to like, desire”). The term is used for a sexually promiscuous person (usually females), or one who gives the appearance of being more sexually accessible, active or demonstrative than is deemed socially acceptable. The term has traditionally been applied to women and is generally considered an offensive term of disparagement. As such, it may be applied to a woman perceived to be “sexually loose” for any variety of reasons, such as wearing provocative clothing, being overly saucy, or engaging indiscriminately in sexual relations with new partners after only a brief period of acquaintance. Increasingly, however, the term “slut” has been applied to men as well, particularly within the gay community, although this usage is generally considered jocular rather than offensive.”

see A Massive Gallery Of MySpace Whores and even Playboy has gotten in on the whore frenzy. Playboy Myspace Contest – Hottest Girls On Myspace.com – Girls of My Space Nude Pics “Anyone with an Internet connection has likely flirted, reunited or blogged their fingers bare on MySpace. Now it’s time for you ladies online to put your moneymaker where your mouse is. Playboy.com seeks the sexiest women of the MySpace community to pose for a nude Playboy pictorial. If you’re 18 or older and would like to appear in a professional Playboy photo shoot, send us your application. And if you know a hot number on MySpace who fits the bill, tell her to get in touch!”

Friendwhore: def #1 – “a person who whores them self and others just for the sake of adding friends in an attempt to look cool and say they have a lot of friends. They often do this by posting bulletins that say things such as “add this person they are good in bed”. I have 238476293460256 friends bc I am a myspace whore, but even tho I have all those friends on myspace I have no real friends.” def #2- “Usually a female on MySpace who goes nights without sleep just so she can post comments, bulletins, and pictures. She will often skip homework so she can be on MySpace, and naturally gets on it once she’s at school. She’ll generally have over 1000 friends because she’ll be posting really slutty pictures of herself and pictures where you can’t see her face and she isn’t smiling. Generally has the same taste in music as everyone else on MySpace and is constantly threatening to delete her MySpace account because she’s begging for attention.” def #3 – “A person who spends a lot of time on myspace, but while on there, posts bulletins and sends messages to other people telling them to add so and so, and the person they’re ‘whoring’ does the same for them. Person 1: Whore me? I have 5k friends! Person 2: Ok, just click my button and whore me too! Whoring Bulletin: Add Sam! She’s super hot! She comments! (Persons Pic Here). That’s what a myspace whore does.”

Scenewhore: “a person completely immersed in the scene of a particular subculture or clique. They go to all of that scene’s clubs, bars and hang-outs, dress exclusively in its “uniform” and listen only to its music. Most scenewhores tend not to associate or be friends with those outside their chosen scene, and some will even take up jobs that are scene-centric (barista at a scene’s favorite coffee house or a sales person at a scene-dominated record store).”

see also…The First & Second Annual MySpace Stupid Haircut Awards!

Attentionwhore: “an insulting term used in reference to a person who is trying to draw attention to themselves or who finds attention from others gratifying. The insult turns on the idea that the person to whom it is directed is comparable in their actions to a prostitute: a prostitute gives himself or herself sexually to anyone willing to pay, and in the same way an attention whore makes a fool of himself or herself for anyone willing to pay attention. The term attention whore came into popular usage through the Internet, where it is often used to deride those who try to gain attention and a reputation online. An attention whore is almost invariably a sixteen year old girl who desperately craves attention in any form.”

Camwhore: “The term “cam whore” is also used to refer to individuals who post pictures or videos of themselves on the Internet to gain attention. The term disparages those who post pictures of themselves at inappropriate times or places, and usually implies self-absorption. A variety of attention whore (see above), typically a young woman who will do anything on her webcam in exchange for attention, money, items from Amazon.com wishlists or just to be generally slutty. The viewers are generally middle aged men.”

(definitions from Urban Dictionary, Wikipedia, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Pics from browseusers.myspace.com/)

Determination.

If you’re just not sure if you fit into any or all of these categories, then be sure that you proceed to the Myspace Whoretest.

Instruction.

If you failed the test, but still want to be Myspace whore, study and implement the following instructions. In 3 parts…from ashleychristine07

MYSPACE EMO/SCENE 101.

1. Pictures – Get thick rimmed glasses — not nerdy, more of a retro look. Make it so that one eye is covered by your hair. Preferably side parted bangs. Put black eyeliner on. Even of you are a guy. This adds the perfect emo touch. Wear tight pants — and a tight shirt — its a must! Hold the camera yourself. Either look up and to the side as though you are thinking or look down and to the side. Do not smile. Have a sad “woe is me, my life sucks” look on your face. Snap the picture. If this is too hard than do the above and take the picture in a mirror. Make sure flash = off. Now you have an emo picture. Upload it to your computer and go to your photo editing program– make the picture black and white. Now you have the perfect emo picture.

2. Music – Go to VCZ and choose an emo video. Basically any emo/punk rock band. Now you have the tunes to go with your picture.

3. Friends – Add other people who have this “emo” look to your friends… So then you can be part of one big happy(sad) emo family!

4. Lyrics – Put lyrics to your favorite emo song in your space. The user title or the quote spot is the most common place. ex. “Cut my wrists and black my eyes” Or put some other emo/sad quote in it ex. “My life sucks”

5. Graphics and Colors – Use colors that are “Punk” or “Retro” or colors that make you feel sad or “blah.” ex. Pink and black. Anything with black. Greys and blues. Put pictures of your favorite bands. Or why not other emo pictures of yourself!

6. Blog it – Make emo blogs daily or weekly about how much your day/week was the worst ever. And hope that people will feel bad for you.

MYSPACE WHORE 101 – Female

1. Pictures - To be a Myspace whore you need to have a good picture. In this picture you should pretend to be like a pin up girl. Pamela Anderson is a good example, or Paris Hilton. So, put on skimpy clothing. A short skirt or tight pants is good, and then a shirt that shows off your cleavage, maybe make it so you can see your thong. If you are tan — this enhances the whore-y-ness and you are one step closer to your ultimate goal. So, either take a face picture that is looking down your cleavage, or have a friend take a body picture of you where you are looking really “sexy.” Now upload the picture and crop it so it is just you in the picture — you can’t have any distractions from the gorgeous you! Now you have the perfect myspace picture.

2. Music – Go to VCZ and chose a song that best suits you. Preferably something that is like poppy/hip hop/rap/r&b. Like Candy Shop, or other songs — esp ones about sex!

3. Friends – Alright, this part is like a contest. You want to see how many guys you can get to add you. You should have a goal to get more than 500 “good looking” males as your myspace friends. You can also be friends with people of the same Myspace attitude as you — other whores.

4. Graphics and Colors – This part is not very specific. It can be girly, or have pictures in the background.

5. Watch your Myspace – If you are doing a good job of being a Myspace whore, you will have many comments on your page and on your pictures of how “gorgeous” and how “hott” and “sexy” you are. Once you recieve multiple messages such as this, you know you have succeeded and become one of the ultimate whores. Congratulations, you just lost respect from any person with a brain and common sense, you should feel accomplished.

MYSPACE WHORE 101 – Male

1. Pictures – For males you have to get a picture of you that is “good” and “hott”– Do you have shaggy hair? Blonde hair and blue eyes? Nice muscles that you can show off? Do you surf or skateboard? Are you in a band and play an instrument? These are all things you should take in to consideration with your pictures. SHOW THESE OFF!!! These are things that will draw the girl’s attention. If you have a nice smile, use it. Dress nice-ish… dont look like a slob. Maybe get a sunglasses picture. That always catches someone’s eye cuz’ it adds mystery. And if you dont have a great face it covers some of it up and makes you look better! So get a good picture and upload it to myspace.

2. Music – Music isnt a huge deal when it comes to being a whore for you guys. Just make sure its not shitty and that its not like hardcore/metal. You should be good.

3. Friends – This is where you will see if you are a good Myspace whore. You should have lots of friends (maybe around 300 and up) — generally of the female “Myspace whore” type. If they are “hott” and you have many of them on your friends page — then you know you are “hott” and doing a good job. Keep up the good work.

4. Graphics and Colors – Make your profile say “I know what I am doing”… “I am hott and you know you want me” that is all you have to do. Different things turn different girls on, so you have to find your perfect whoring template.

5. Watch your Myspace – If you are doing the right job of being a Myspace whore, you shud be getting a lot of girls as myspace friends. They will leave lots of comments and give you their AIM screen name because you= hawt. If you talk to them online — be sweet and try to keep yourself on their good side. Compliment them.

Software Assistance.

If you’ve followed the above steps and you’re still a mere trollop, then try these simple software packages.

1. Myspace Friend Adder Get lots of Myspace Friends – FREE! *Simple and safe way to get friends! Start sending requests within seconds of signing up, while others do the same to you with a click of a button to request. * Great for any Myspace user! Everyone wants to have more friends. It’s also a great way to promote your music as you have more viewers.

2. Myspace Friends Whorecode – We will automatically lookup your information and generate an “add to friends” link. Use this anywhere you want to get more Myspace friends on your friends list.

3. There’s even a firefox plugin. MyspaceBar – Firefox Extension: An unofficial toolbar for the social networking site, Myspace

State of the Whoredom.

FFF: Thank you very much Mr. Gates, Mr. Jobs, Mr. Anderson, Mr. DeWolfe, members of Myspace, distinguished Diggers, and fellow bloggers: As we gather tonight, our data is at war, our bandwidth is in recession, and the civilized web faces unprecedented dangers. Yet the state of the Whoredom has never been stronger.

(keystrokes & mouseclicks from the left & right!!!!)

So there you have it folks. And now you’re in the know.

Pimps Up…fff.

Post from: FastandLoud.com

The Definitive Myspace Whore Collective: Friendwhores, Scenewhores, Attentionwhores, Camwhores, and regular Whores.

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In Hey America !!! Gay, Hispanic, Catholic, Straight, Christian, Lesbian, Black, Homophobe, Pagan, Caucasian, Bisexual, Agnostic, Transgender, Asian, Heterosexual, Jew : We all like expensive, reliable cars. Who knew?, I wanted to hip you guys to poorly executed, specifically-targeted, “viral”, marketing schemes that exploit the latest social hot buttons. It’s been happening for years, but damn…it just keeps getting funnier.

Marketing examples:

50-60’s Housewife – You too can cook and clean and do all the housework with your handy dandy dish-o-rama 1000.
50-90’s Teens/Adults & cigarettes – the marlboro man for cool adults – joe camel for the kids
70-80’s Children – You can have candy & toys in cereal! It’s fortified with 9 essentail vitamins & minerals…wink,wink
80’s-00’s – Hey girls, you’re not skinny or pretty enough, so buy our clothes, makeup, and lotion to fix your self-esteem
90’s Urban – Hey, there’s a black couple driving that new car, but they’re light skinned, so it’s ok…regardless, honey lock your door.
00’s - Oops, did we say God/Christ/Allah…We meant Holiday – on sale now before Thanksgiving (update HALLO-FREAKIN-WEEN…WTF!).

I’m sure I missed quite a few, but you get the picture. So in the past 50 years, we’ve covered sex, race, age, health, and religion…So I guess sexual preference is the next logical social step.

Ford to resume marketing efforts in gay publications

Subaru going for more gay advertising

Yes…I know…it’s all about the money…oh, and now…political correctness, we can’t forget that. Too bad political correctness doesn’t really involve acceptance, understanding, or tolerance.

So far to go…

sarcastically yours, fff

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Auto Makers Going Gay

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Yup, I said it. Myspace ruins lives. And shamefully…I’ve fed the Myspace beast.

So you say… “what is this Myspace devil-net and how can I protect myself from it’s damning tentacles?”

Firstly…Myspace is an incredibly addictive (I admit it) online social network. Basically, a not-so-personal weblog diary with pictures. According to the terms and conditions of the site, you must be at least 14 years old to join. But believe me, ANYONE can join Myspace. Users are asked to fill out a personal profile including photos, likes/dislikes in music, sexuality, religion, body type, ethnicity, education, zodiac, etc., etc. Users can browse/search for other users through common interests or photos and request to add them as “friends.” Friends can leave comments, links, pictures, etc. As you can image, people flood the place pretending to be someone(thing) that they are not (read – 14 year old girls saying they’re 21 or…30 year old dudes saying that they’re a 16 year old boy or girl). Click on myspace is gay for sad-but-true photo examples. I understand Myspace can’t control this. They respectfully CYA here . And yes…there are loads of legitimate Myspacers just being themselves.

Secondly…Myspace cannot protect YOU from YOURself. If you post it, someone will see it.

Thirdly…still don’t know what myspace is, check out…MySpace: from Answers.com

And…in case you didn’t know…

Mommies and Daddies!
1. your little 14 year old daughter is posting semi-nude pictures of herself, her address, phone number, and where she’s gonna be Friday night. Oh…is that a beer and/or a joint that I see in those pictures she posted? Smart…(see Why the internet can be a bad place to meet people. A murder in Virginia. The Taylor Behl story. )
2. your little Tommy has been posting about how he’s gonna kill himself or somebody else because he feels all alone. (see Teens Both Kept Weblogs)
3. If you still don’t know what the hell is going on, check out…Internet Safety: Internet 101 – Blog and Diary Web sites

LADIES!!!
1. As much as I enjoy the female figure(and I do)…posting semi-nude pictures of yourself does nothing for that little self-esteem issue (implants don’t fix this either – hugs/affirmation do). This is not Myporn. You can be a real adult film “star” with a few simple phone calls or web clicks.
2. And for you teen girls…posting nude/semi-nude pics is ILLEGAL. This is not Mykiddieporn (which = jail time, btw). Oh, and you might wanna googleMap your local Sex Offenders with the free US Sex Offender Registry Mapping System just to be safe.

DUDE!!!
1. Stop taking pictures of your penis & your abs. Seriously.
2. Seriously.

Recently, I saw this… And started considering the impact this is having on people (mainly teens, tweens). So, I googled “myspace ruined mylife”and “myspace effect”…

Well I have been puting off joining myspace, but I finally had enough of being bugged by friends to join so I did it. To be honest I think it has ruined my life. I check it a thousand times a day, mostly to chat with this girl I have been seeing. I also have succummed to the blog, I filled out my first one today. I really don’t know how I feel about writing out my feeling for the world to see. I have been up to my ears in work. I’m up to an alltime high of four different jobs, oh yeah and there is school too. I have never felt so drained in my life. deviantART: ElHefe: Journal

The sites appeared on the school’s radar when administrators learned a student was communicating online with someone who was not truthful about who they were, their age and where they lived…Blogging ban provokes a debate over cyberspace

Check out the # of comments Myspace blocked on school computers.

I was going to go to sleep, really, but then I decided to be a myspace slut. I get these moments where I wander [figuratively] around alone on myspace late at night, or very drunk. And since the blinds are down and the overhead light is off, it seems like the middle of the night. Then again, my propensity to be overly amused by myspace has, effectively, ruined my life. It’s the awkward myspace condition. A m n e s i a

Yes, yes…I know this applies to all similar online activities (including blogging -wink,wink). Myspace, however, is the number one social networking site (26 million+ members) and one addictive mutha (even for adults). I do applaud Myspace for it’s inherent marketing/promotion ability & for starting the Myspace Record label which is F*ing GENIUS.

my name is fff
and I used to myspace.
Hello, fff.

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Myspace ruins Yourlife

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Alright all you venti, half-caff/no-caff, low-fat, caramel macchiato fans out there. Decaffeinated coffee kills (more than your taste buds). I knew it….

I (currently low-caff) just didn’t have the synaptic fortitude to assemble a study. But these guys did! Check out Drinking decaffeinated coffee may be harmful to heart health from the American Heart Association.

Pick your demons carefully, fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Warning! Achtung! : DECAF KILLS!!!

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Being a huge fan of horsepower, proud owner of a “rottweiler of the road” and rottweiler (of the yard?), I felt compelled to pass this on.

In the article : Put a leash on ‘pit-bull’ cars. Drivers must know how to handle power

Paula Simmons from the Edmonton Journal writes and I quote:

And so, this Tuesday, Belzil found Richardson guilty of dangerous driving causing death. The maximum sentence is 14 years in jail. Richardson will be sentenced next Wednesday. His lawyer is already promising to file an appeal. But the crime Ricky Richardson committed didn’t begin that terrible August night when he punched the accelerator. The chain of events that led to Irene Nicholson’s death began when Richardson decided to buy a Corvette with a special super-charger that gave the already-powerful car a 500-horsepower engine. Of course, any car or truck, driven recklessly or stupidly, can kill or maim. You can run someone down with a nice little Smart Car or Prius. But a muscle car like Richardson’s super-charged Corvette is a far more dangerous vehicle to take to the road. It’s built for racing, not for navigating crowded city streets. It’s a high-performance car that demands expert handling and expert maintenance. Lose control of a such a vehicle, even for a minute, and it becomes a deadly weapon. It’s like a Rottweiler of the road: lethal in the wrong hands.

OK…now I will give her credit for stating that you could be mowed down by a Prius. I seriously doubt you’d tell anyone after you lifted it up off of you & glanced around to see if anyone was looking (I digress…), but come on… she obviously drives one of those superbly-handling, crowded city street-navigating, behemoths called minivans (which are capable of injuring pedestrians as well as the 8 people tucked inside while watching the latest Blue’s Clues video.) Then she goes on to rip on the guy’s manhood…

Maybe that car made him feel young. Maybe it made him feel virile and fleet and powerful. Maybe he just liked the special sense of community and camaraderie that came with owning a collector’s item.

That’s just low down. Now, I’m not defending the guy by any means, but…Maybe, he worked his ass off to take care of his family for the past 35+ years (“retired civil engineer“) and finally bought himself something he’s always wanted. Maybe, he likes being slammed into the back of his seat, passing minivans with some mom chatting on a cellphone with one hand, swatting her kids with the other, with the blinker still on, going slower than the speed limit in the fast lane, no less. Maybe, Corvettes are actually “street” tested before hitting “the street.”

And then…to compare the cars to pitbulls and rottweilers. Please…I’ve seen a daschund rip someone’s nostril in half. Now that’s scary. Much love to all of the “ferocious” pet owners out there that take care of their animals.

So remember Kiddies…It’s not guns, cars, knives, dogs, or bombs that kill people, it’s poor decision-making, freak accidents, acts of nature, health problems, and crystal meth that kill people.

Here we go again. fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Horsepower Doesn’t Kill People, Rottweilers Kill People – right?

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#1 – DON”T TRY TO KILL YOURSELF. #2 – IF YOU WANT TO, SEE RULE #1.

(Disclaimer – suicide is wicked terrible, destroys families/lives, please tell someone if you’re having these feelings/thoughts, our condolences to any families currently dealing or having dealt with this.)

[Rant on]

PEOPLE!!!

The Grit - Stache

1. Don’t swallow everything in your medicine cabinet cause your momma won’t let you go to the skating rink!!!

2. Don’t go crash your car, jump off a building, or shoot yourself in the head – odds are you’ll survive, in a vegetative state (Look! She follows the balloon! …right), but technically “alive.” And…it makes one hell of a mess!

3. Don ‘t slit your wrists cause your grit-stache boyfriend missed your one month “going steady” anniversary!!! see image – Grit Stache. I promise, it’s not the end of the world. Waking up in the morning with this guy ten years from now…is.

4. Don’t close your garage door, crank the car, and checkout with exhaust fumes. If you have a car, gas in the tank, and a nice enough house that it actually has a garage…that’s just downright ungrateful.

5. Don’t try to hang yourself. Period.

That thou mayest blowest thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.

6. Oh and martyrs…suicidal car bombs involve YOU BLOWING UP!!! (idiots) and don’t try to blame God. He helped the guys come up with DANGER! EXPLOSIVE! sticker. see image – Warning!

7. Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, God, and/or the Devil are NOT telling you to kill yourself or yourneighbors.

Hey Momma/Daddy…

1. Don’t have sex with your children. Plain and simple. Years of therapy won’t fix this.

2. Don’t throw your children up against a wall, leave them in the car while you go to work, shake, choke, stab, beat, shoot, smother, drown, starve, burn, ignore, or otherwise neglect them.

3. Just because you don’t want your kids to drink, smoke, have sex, do drugs, disrespect their elders; doesn’t mean that these things don’t exist. If you haven’t had any of “the talks” yet, then Jr.’s probably hammered, high, & making out with some cheerleader (or some guy) in the back of yourcar. It’s never too early establish lines of communication with yourkids.

4. FYI…Ritalin doesn’t make your kids behave – discipline/consistency/boundaries do. My mawmaw’s maid had a small black leather strap in her purse. We didn’t act up…we knew it was there and that she wasn’t scared of us.

5. Your children are not yourfriends!!! They may be all you have, but you begat them. Run yourhouse!!!

6. Don’t have your kids committed to a hospital/mental institution because they have behavior problems!!!! Bad behavior kids in psych wards = now your kid has a real problem (with you).

7. Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, God, and/or the Devil are NOT telling you to kill yourkids.

[Rant off - cleansing breath in...]

peace, fff

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Top 7 Ways to NOT Kill Yourself or Yourkids

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Wow…really…wow.

I’m stunned.

U.S. Gay and Lesbian Automotive Consumers Favor Import and Luxury Brands, Hybrid Demand Strong: Financial News – Yahoo! Finance

And I quote… ” — Automakers’ quest to move away from “traditional” media sources–having more of an online presence and “VIRAL MARKETING” focus — hits squarely at the GLBT consumer.”

Hell…I’m straight & I’m offended.

Who let that get through committee?

Sorry folks, we’ve all got more in common than you thought.

fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Hey America !!! Gay, Hispanic, Catholic, Straight, Christian, Lesbian, Black, Homophobe, Pagan, Caucasian, Bisexual, Agnostic, Transgender, Asian, Heterosexual, Jew : We all like expensive, reliable cars. Who knew?

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