God kills a kitten every time you download a Metallica song.

Welcome back. If you’re looking for even more ways to find free music downloads on the web, then keep reading.

If you missed Part 1, we covered: Direct downloading, Google / MSN search strings, Peer to Peer (P2P) downloading, downloading from Newsgroups, and downloading from IRC. Feel free to hop over there and check it out.

In Part 2 of Free Music: How to Find it and Download it, we’ll cover: Ripping directly from Media Players, free downloads from Independent and Major record labels, free Public Domain works, and Converting your music into a usable format.

Everybody put their thinking caps on.

#6 Rip from Media Players (record the radio)

Method 1 – Stand alone Stream Ripping

1. Download, run, & setup Ripcast, Streamripper, Screamer Radio, or Cast-Ripper.
2. Goto you favorite audio streaming/internet radio site like Live 365, Shoutcast, Deezer, di.fm, Icecast, Sideload, ,and Epitonic.
3. Mp3s of everything you listen to will be created in the directory you set during installation.

Method 2 – Winamp plugins

1. Download, run, & setup Winamp.
2. Download, run, & setup Ripcast or Streamripper (here’s a tutorial).
3. Goto you favorite audio streaming/internet radio site like Live365, Shoutcast, di.fm, Icecast, and Epitonic.
4. Mp3s of everything you listen to in Winamp will created in the directory you set during installation.

Method 3 – Pandora Radio / the last.fm

1.Goto Pandora Radio and/or last.fm & setup an account(s).
2.. Download, setup, and run, Firefox, the latest version of Java, and Pandora’s Jar.
(here’s the official guide to Pandora’s Jar)
3. Extract Pandora’s Jar to c:\pandora.
4. Goto c:\pandora and run Pandora.bat.
5. Use Pandora as you normally would & mp3s will be created in c:\pandora\mp3.

Method 4 – Direct recording

1. Download, run, & setup MuvAudio2 or Audacity.
(here’s the long way from Tech-recipes.com using Windows Sound Recorder if you’re bored and got some free time on your hands)
2. Goto you favorite audio streaming/internet radio site like Live365,Shoutcast, blogmusik, di.fm, Icecast, Webjay, Sideload, Epitonic, Pandora, and last.fm.
3. Hit record on your program of choice & hit play on the streaming file.
4. Hit stop when you’re finished & save the file in your medium of choice.

#7 Go Independent

There are a ton of great bands putting out the kind of music you love. Yeah, you gotta wade through a lot of crap to find the good stuff, but it’s always satisfying to find some jewel in the rough.

1. Goto Magnatune, Dmusic, Jamendo, GarageBand, MP34U, betterPropaganda, Altsounds, Artistopia, Unsigned Band Web,WM Recording, Comfort Stand, Hazard Records, Zymogen, Quiet Lounge, Thinner,Out of Obscure, Camomille Music, Webbed Hand Records, Nishi, Soundclick, Bebo, Redfizz, NetLabels, CCHits, AudioStreet, FreeAlbumsGalore, Stage.FM, SectionZ Electronic Music Community, Sutemos, Alpinechic, Ubuweb, Kill Rock Stars, Fat Possum Records, Matador Records, Alternative Tentacles, Go-Kart Records, Saddle Creek Records, Jade Tree, Labrador, Barsuk Records, The Elephant 6 Recording Company, Epitaph Records, Kufala Radio, Moon Ska, Loca Records, and Blue Note.
2. Search
3. Download & enjoy.
4. Don’t forget about #6 above.

Majors acting Indy

1. Checkout these artists – 808 State, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Butthole Surfers, Cocteau Twins, Laura Cantrell, Harvey Danger, Roger McGuinn, Neutral Milk Hotel, Sonic Youth, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, Richard Thompson, and John Vanderslice.
2. Download & enjoy.
3. Don’t forget about #6 above.

#8 Public Domain or Plain ol’ Free

1. For classical music, goto Classic Cat, Wikipedia – Public Domain, MusikEthos, and On Classical.
2. For kids’ music, goto Free Kids Music.

3. Also, checkout Fingertips, NPR All Songs Considered archives, Internet Archive, Public Domain 4U, Oddio Overplay, and Dovesong Foundation.

#9 Sorta Free (from the majors)

Several major players offer free downloads. Of course they are trying to tempt you to join a subscription service or buy some songs , but you’re smarter than that. Read the details at each site very carefully.

1. eMusic, YourMusic.com, Rhapsody, AOL, Yahoo Music, MTV, Ruckus, MP3.com, Napster, ArtistDirect, PureVolume, and Download.com Music
2. Goto Amazon, (download Firefox, Greasemonkey, & the greasemonkey script – Amazon Music Helper.)
3. Don’t forget about #6 above.

Coming soon…SpiralFrog (looks pretty promising).

#10 Free Your Music

Yeah, not really that exciting, but you paid for it. So, let’s put it to good use.

1. Download, run, and setup Tunebite or MusicStacker.
2. Convert your music to something useable.
3. Burn a disc, transfer them to another device, go nuts, and enjoy.

All right guys/gals, that’s all we know about. So if we missed anything, miscategorized, or if we’ve got some stupid links; please enlighten us.
Peace in the Middle East…seriously. I’m running out of gas money, fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Free Music: How to Find it and Download it, Part 2

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iTunes cuts me checks!

If you are looking for ways to find and download free music from web, then you’re in the right place. Searching for free songs on the internet can be a daunting task. There are so many different devices: Apple iPod, Microsoft Zune, Creative Zen, Archos, Sandisk Sansa, iriver; and so many different audio formats: mp3, aiff, au, atrac, flac, wma, wav, aac, ogg vorbis, etc. that’s it’s hard to keep up.

Don’t despair. Most of the songs that you like are available on the web for free with only one caveat – you gotta know where to look.

We are going to show you the 10 best ways to find and download the music you like. Some of them are pretty simple, some are not. Keep in mind, however, that the tough ones are usually the most fruitful in the long run. In Part 1 of Free Music: How to Find it and Download it, we plan to cover Direct downloading, Google / MSN search strings, Peer to Peer (P2P) downloading, downloading from Newsgroups, and downloading from IRC. In Part 2, we’ll cover: Ripping directly from Media Players, free downloads from Independent and Major record labels, free Public Domain works, and Converting your music into a usable format.

So let’s get started, shall we?

DISCLAIMER: (In an authoritative tone) – Ahem.

We are musicians here at FastandLoud. We don’t officially condone anyone stealing (or borrowing and not giving back) music. However, we don’t condone Sony punking us with bad DRM either. If you find some tunes that you like, buy them. Period. By purchasing physical CDs or downloadable songs, you’ll be putting food on a lot of people’s tables including: recording studios, disc manufacturers, live sound companies, web site developers, printers, truck drivers, middle men, probably Apple somehow, & a few pennies to the actual artist too! Happy hunting.

#1 Web Searches with straight downloads

1. Goto mp3.nl, mp3raid, AudioValley, Mybloop, Kohit, DiggDrop, or goto this FTP search.
2. Search.
3. Download & enjoy.

#2 Google

Method 1 – searchbar strings

1. Goto google.
2. Use the following qualifiers in the searchbar to find what you’re looking for:
-inurl:htm -inurl:html intitle:”index of” “Last modified”
3. Tack on a media type (ex. mp3, avi, wma, ogg): -inurl:htm -inurl:html intitle:”index of” “Last modified” mp3
or multiply media types -inurl:htm -inurl:html intitle:”index of” “Last modified” +(wmv|mpg|avi)
4. Tack on a band name: -inurl:htm -inurl:html intitle:”index of” mp3 “jonas brothers”
5. Tack on “site:edu” to just search all education sites: -inurl:htm -inurl:html intitle:”index of” “Last modified” mp3 site:edu
6. Tack on your specific educational facility address: -inurl:htm -inurl:html intitle:”index of” “Last modified” mp3 site:lsu.edu

Method 2 – searchbar strings for media storage sites

a. Rapidshare

1. Goto Google.com.
2. Use the following searchbar qualifiers:

+inurl:(insert media type) site:(insert site address) (insert specific title – optional) -deleted (optional to remove inactive files)

ex. +inurl:wma|mp3|ogg site:rapidshare.com

ex. with artist name +inurl:wma|mp3|ogg site:rapidshare.com Rihanna

b. MegaUpload

1. Goto google.
2. Use the following searchbar qualifiers: (media type) site: (site address) artist name
ex. mp3|ogg|wma site:megaupload.com

ex. with name mp3|ogg|wma site:megaupload.com hannah montana

Method 3 – sorta…MSN search

1. Goto MSN search.
2. Use the following search bar qualifiers: intitle:”index of” -inurl:.htm -inurl:.html contains:(mp3 wma ogg) “last modified” artist name
ex. intitle:”index of” -inurl:.htm -inurl:.html contains:(mp3 wma ogg) “last modified”
ex with name intitle:”index of” -inurl:.htm -inurl:.html contains:(mp3 wma ogg) “last modified” Cold Play

#3 Peer to Peer

These are some of the oldest in the book and definitely not the safest, but I cease to be amazed at how many people are sharing the Fatboys – Protect Yourself / My Nuts (rock!).

Method 1

1. Download, run, & setup Limewire, Kazaa, aMule, eMule, Filescope, iMesh, KCeasy, kiwiAlpha, mlDonkey, Shareaza, or Zultrax.
2. Search.
3. Download & enjoy.

Method 2 – Torrents

1. Download, run, & setup Vuze – formerly Azureus, BitComet, BitLord, or uTorrent
(here’s a Torrent tutorial & another Torrent tutorial.)
2. Find some torrents on the web via BTjunkie, Bushtorrents, Spynova, Torrentz.com, Seedpeer, Fenopy, Thepiratebay.org, Torrent Locomotive, Torrent Portal, Torrent Valley, Torrentreactor, wTorrent, Mininova.org, eTree, orIsohunt.
3. Download & enjoy.

#4 Newsgroups

I’ll be honest…this way takes a little effort and sometimes the results are questionable. But once you get the technique down, it’s a lot like grocery shopping (tons of choices – you just pick what you want). MP3 files in newsgroups are usually posted in several parts. For example “10/25 Johnny Cash – Ring of Fire” means this is part 10 of 25 parts total. For a useable file, you’ll need all 25 parts. 24 parts & you’ve got nothing. Also, you may notice PAR/PAR2 files. They are used to reconstruct parts that are corrupt or missing, so you’ll need a good PAR program like QuickPAR. And you’ll need either winRAR or 7-zip program to decompress them.

1. Download, run, & setup Forte Agent, Grabit, Newsbin, NewsLeecher, or NewsShark.
(here’s a pretty solid Newsgroup tutorial.)
2. Find some mp3’s: Quickly – use BinSearch.
3. Download, put all of Humpty Dumpty’s pieces back, and enjoy.

This list should get you started with some music-related newsgroups.

And here’s a little Newsgroup program that lets you play mp3s straight from newsgroups.

#5 IRC

Yup, I said it…IRC. That elusive vixen we’ve all heard about, but never have been able to really grasp.

1. Download and run XDCC Browser v4.40. (or if you like it the hard way try mIRC & you’ll need this mIRC tutorial.)
2. Goto Packetnews.
3. Search.
4. Download & enjoy.

Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Don’t forget to check out – Part 2 of Free Music: How to Find it and Download it.

Thanks for stopping by, fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Free Music: How to Find it and Download it, Part 1

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For all of you guys in high school, college, or at work that can’t get enough of Facebook, Myspace, Friendster, Yahoo 360, or Google’s Orkut. These are the best ways to get around firewall blocked IP address filters.

1. Use a proxy.

HideMy-ss Anonymizer Wujie Guardster Anonymous SpySurfing Proxify.us KProxy Brawl-Hall Proxify.net Unipeak HRMovieProxify.com ProxyMouse Surfonym 3Proxy SuperProxy LetsProxy FSurf LetMeBy BoredAtSchool IBypass GreenRabbit Proxify.info SwitchProxy Secure-Tunnel Proxify.cn Proxify.co Proxify.org Proxychoice AnonyPost Hujiko PeoplesProxy ProxyWeb MyWebTunnel Proxy7 StupidCensorship Cecid FreeProxy.ca GoProxing Proxify.de ByWhat PerlProxy Proxylord TNTproxy The-Cloak ProxyDom PrivacyNest GetByNow FreedomRoute FreedomBrowse 3PO 3Tiered AlwaysHide AtedPlace ATMNetwork.org BestProxyWorld BlairstownNJ CantCatch.us CheckProfiles ConnyPug CovertBrowser DeJacey DevilsProxy Firoxy Free2Surf Freezoo Gmprs Goldenproxy HiddenCloak HideiPaddy HideProxy InstantunBlock k1d LAProxy MyProxy NCHAusa NinjaCloak NovaProxy OKBay Proxican Proxy4Myspace Proxy80 ProxyPan ProxyPit ProxyToy PublicProxyServer Rdcumd SInjection Surf2Acess TheCamelClub UnfilterSites YouHide ZaxiProxy ZeroProxy

2. Use the iPhone or iPod Touch – Facebook and Myspace have free applications on the Apple App Store.

The Easy Way

1. Click on this link for Facebook app. Install, enter your info, go for it.

2. Click on this link for Myspace app. Install, enter your info, go for it.

Manually from within iTunes

1. Get the latest version of firmware (must be at least version 2.0) for your particular device.
2. Connect your cradle to the computer and dock your device. iTunes should start automatically. If not, launch iTunes manually.
3. Goto the App Store. Search for Facebook.
4. Click install.
5. Repeat process for other apps.
6. Sync your device to install these apps.

On the iPhone using Wifi

1. Click on the App Store icon.
2. Search for Facebook.
3. Press Free – it will change to say Install.
4. Press and hold Install.
5. When it finishes loading, click on the Facebook or Myspace icon, and enter your account information.
6 Repeat process for other apps.

3. Use Google to load the cached (usually filter free) version of a website or proxy.

example: – goto google.com, and type in “devilsproxy” or “devilsproxy.com” – goto the first link by clicking on the cached URL (not the real URL). – Type in the website you’re trying to goto in the URL bar and enjoy.

example – use http://home.myspace.com (instead of http://www.myspace.com). Other prefixes to try for myspace.com: browseusers. search. invite. mail. blog. invite. favorites. forum. groups. events. viewmorepics. music. classifieds. signup. chat. vids.

4. Use a language translator page to “translate” the sites from any language into English.

a) Google Language Tools b) Babel Fish Translation c) FreeTranslation d) Online Website Translation e) Language Translation f) Online Translator

5. Use MoDazzle’s SMS text messaging services.

MoDazzle uses basic SMS text messages to send and receive information directly to and from your phone. Just by texting, you can: update your Facebook or LinkedIn profile, explore investmentors/portfolios at VentureSource, use Salesforce, research a company at Hoovers, get directions to the nearest Starbucks using Yelp or Google Maps, check your Flight Status, check the Weather, use ZoomInfo , or check your Stock quotes.

Modazzle allows Facebook users to: Send messages to your friends list, Check your message, Update your profile, Post a note on your wall and read from your wall, Know who’s online,  Poke a friend, Upload a profile photo, Send invite to friends, Update your profile status, Check for birthday updates.Here are the instructions for using Modazzle with Facebook.

Modazzle allows LinkedIn users to: Search for Company, Search for People, Search for a person’s details, View your connections, Invite your contacts. Here are the instructions for using Modazzle with LinkedIn.

To get started with Modazzle:

a. Be sure that your phone has SMS capabilities – if you can send Text Messages, you have SMS.
b. Sign up for MoDazzle service.
c. Read their How To’s
d. Get busy.

6. Install a Circumventor

Please read instructions carefully.

Post from: FastandLoud.com

View or Access blocked Websites at School or Work (Firewall IP Address Filter Bypass for Myspace, Facebook, and other Sites too!)

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I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. Most of us don’t, I suppose. My parents drilled me on the importance of getting an education and a good job (which I did). They didn’t teach me, however, what to do with the money that I made. So, little ol’ fff finds himself over-educated, over-worked, and still living paycheck to paycheck. And I hate it. So with a little help from the web and the brilliant F&L readership (that’s you BTW), I’m hoping to put together some down & dirty money management tips. I’m gonna make this a multi-part post that evolves as needed. Feel free to add some on if you’ve got some insider secrets and correct me where I’ve over simplified things. And like my dad always says “get paid for using your brain, not your back.”

Seven years of college down the drain!

1. Make some money.

I’m not gonna delve into how you make your money. You gotta bust your hump. Whether that means going legit with the whole college thing, or being the best pole dancer you can be, or through the “procurement and distribution” of specific merchandise. Whatever your game, just get a job and keep it. Oh…playing PartyPoker is not a “job” idiot, it’s a hobby.

2. Get a bank account.

Get both checking & savings. I’m amazed how many people don’t have bank accounts. Do it and don’t ask questions. Choose your bank wisely, however. Read the fine print. Some banks offer free online bill-pay, money transfers, free checking, etc. And some banks charge ridiculous amounts for withdrawals from non-system ATMs (on top of what the ATM’s bank charges you). This fee (usually $0.50-$2.50) could easily push you into the $5-$10 per transaction range (depending on which stripclub ATM you’re using) just to get some folding green. If you travel a lot, you need to find a bank with branches nationwide.

3. Save some of it.

If you can, have your paycheck directly deposited into your bank account and a portion of it (10-20%) automatically put into a savings account. It hurts way less than having to transfer the money yourself. And it’s there when your fridge goes on the blink. Put any bonus you get straight into savings. Checkout EmigrantDirect or INGDirect for higher interest accounts.

Unicorns and Pixies help the Electrons

4. Establish your credit.

If you’re just starting out in the game, this may be a little tricky. You’ll probably run into the “how do I get a loan without credit & how do I get credit with a loan.” Well, you’ve got a few options here; some better than others. Most people start out by getting a credit card or two. It’s quick, easy, and fairly painless. However, you don’t want to screw yourself by dropping loads of debt on credit cards with high interest rates. Do you ever wonder why you get 2-3 credit card applications a day in the mail even though you don’t have a job? Because credit card companies make money hand-over-fist when you buy things you can’t afford. Then, you don’t pay it off for years and you end up paying for it three times over (guilty here). You just had to have that $1500 Acoustic Zen Gargantua Power Cord (you read it right – F*ing power cord!!!) for your home stereo, right?

5. Make a monthly budget.

And follow it (guilty). Keep good records of your transactions and your money flow. Banks make mistakes too and it’s your money. Checkout Quicken, Microsoft Money, or the free GNUcash.

6. Spend wisely.

Pay with cash or debit card. Don’t use your credit card if you don’t have to. And if you do, then pay them off this month.

7. Check your credit report.

Your credit report includes information on where you live, if you pay your bills, whether you’ve been sued, arrested, or filed for bankruptcy. Every time you go to get a loan, an apartment, some insurance, and/or apply for some jobs; this information tags right along with you. Here’s the federal trade commission’s take on your right to a free annual credit report. The ONLY legitimate site to obtain your free online credit report is here.

Too pretty for jail.

8. Pay your taxes.

Yes, it sucks, but so does an audit. And jail sucks even worse. Do you really want to tell your cell mate “Little Tony” that you’re in for tax evasion. SooooWeeee…good times. Pay your taxes. There are free filing services available every year (if you know where to look). Some employers off free or discounted filing services as well. Check it out where you work.

9. Do NOT File Bankruptcy.

DON’T do it. Seriously. This is the absolute last ditch effort in getting a hold on your finances. Bankruptcy stains your financial records for several years, making recovery even harder. There are two types of bankruptcy filings available: Chapter 7 & Chapter 13. Chapter 13 bankruptcy allows you to repay your debt over time and they don’t take your stuff, but it stays on your credit report for seven years. Chapter 7, the more serious form of bankruptcy, wipes out most of your debts. However, it doesn’t erase federal taxes, child support, alimony, and/or student loans. You have to sell most of your stuff (or they take it). Most states usually allow you to keep your clothes, a car, your furniture, your life insurance, retirement funds, the tools of your trade, and your home most of the time (but not always). Chapter 7 stays on your credit record for 10 years. The only real winner here is the bankruptcy lawyer who gets a nice cut of your dough regardless of what happens to you.

Stay tuned for…D&D Money Management

Part 2 – Saving It

Part 3 – Spending It (wisely)

cha-ching, fff

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Down and Dirty Money Management, part 1: The Basics

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In Myspace Ruins Yourlife, I tried giving you the lowdown with text about how people are posting incriminating things about themselves on the internet and throwing abandon to the wind. Sometimes 95 pictures is worth more than 95k words. ALL of these pictures are from PUBLIC profiles on Myspace.com (i.e. they posted these themselves).

Rated NQSFW (not quite suitable for work)!!!!

And yes…you do look like a slut.

See…I told you.

P.S. Whitney…Put down the pipe, put that man down, and please come home.
XOXOXO!
fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Children are the Future – Myspace Video

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That sweet little thing from The Professional and some horrible CGI space prequels that don’t deserve to have StarWars in the title (G. Lucas – there’s a special place in HELL for you for adding CGI to IV-VI, but I digress) goes hardcore.

WARNING – EXPLICIT LANGUAGE -NSFW!!!

Click the pic for the video.

enjoy,
fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Natalie Portman Hardcore Video (rap, that is)

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In the article Myspace Ruins Yourlife, I briefly alluded to people using the mass “exposure” side of Myspace to divulge their assets to the world. This is the latest round-up of the various and sundry Myspace whoring on the net.

Definition.

Just to make sure that we’re all on the same page, here are some terms for you.
Whore: “referring to prostitutes, is taken from the Old English word ho-ra (from the Indo-European root ka- meaning “to like, desire”). The term is used for a sexually promiscuous person (usually females), or one who gives the appearance of being more sexually accessible, active or demonstrative than is deemed socially acceptable. The term has traditionally been applied to women and is generally considered an offensive term of disparagement. As such, it may be applied to a woman perceived to be “sexually loose” for any variety of reasons, such as wearing provocative clothing, being overly saucy, or engaging indiscriminately in sexual relations with new partners after only a brief period of acquaintance. Increasingly, however, the term “slut” has been applied to men as well, particularly within the gay community, although this usage is generally considered jocular rather than offensive.”

see A Massive Gallery Of MySpace Whores and even Playboy has gotten in on the whore frenzy. Playboy Myspace Contest – Hottest Girls On Myspace.com – Girls of My Space Nude Pics “Anyone with an Internet connection has likely flirted, reunited or blogged their fingers bare on MySpace. Now it’s time for you ladies online to put your moneymaker where your mouse is. Playboy.com seeks the sexiest women of the MySpace community to pose for a nude Playboy pictorial. If you’re 18 or older and would like to appear in a professional Playboy photo shoot, send us your application. And if you know a hot number on MySpace who fits the bill, tell her to get in touch!”

Friendwhore: def #1 – “a person who whores them self and others just for the sake of adding friends in an attempt to look cool and say they have a lot of friends. They often do this by posting bulletins that say things such as “add this person they are good in bed”. I have 238476293460256 friends bc I am a myspace whore, but even tho I have all those friends on myspace I have no real friends.” def #2- “Usually a female on MySpace who goes nights without sleep just so she can post comments, bulletins, and pictures. She will often skip homework so she can be on MySpace, and naturally gets on it once she’s at school. She’ll generally have over 1000 friends because she’ll be posting really slutty pictures of herself and pictures where you can’t see her face and she isn’t smiling. Generally has the same taste in music as everyone else on MySpace and is constantly threatening to delete her MySpace account because she’s begging for attention.” def #3 – “A person who spends a lot of time on myspace, but while on there, posts bulletins and sends messages to other people telling them to add so and so, and the person they’re ‘whoring’ does the same for them. Person 1: Whore me? I have 5k friends! Person 2: Ok, just click my button and whore me too! Whoring Bulletin: Add Sam! She’s super hot! She comments! (Persons Pic Here). That’s what a myspace whore does.”

Scenewhore: “a person completely immersed in the scene of a particular subculture or clique. They go to all of that scene’s clubs, bars and hang-outs, dress exclusively in its “uniform” and listen only to its music. Most scenewhores tend not to associate or be friends with those outside their chosen scene, and some will even take up jobs that are scene-centric (barista at a scene’s favorite coffee house or a sales person at a scene-dominated record store).”

see also…The First & Second Annual MySpace Stupid Haircut Awards!

Attentionwhore: “an insulting term used in reference to a person who is trying to draw attention to themselves or who finds attention from others gratifying. The insult turns on the idea that the person to whom it is directed is comparable in their actions to a prostitute: a prostitute gives himself or herself sexually to anyone willing to pay, and in the same way an attention whore makes a fool of himself or herself for anyone willing to pay attention. The term attention whore came into popular usage through the Internet, where it is often used to deride those who try to gain attention and a reputation online. An attention whore is almost invariably a sixteen year old girl who desperately craves attention in any form.”

Camwhore: “The term “cam whore” is also used to refer to individuals who post pictures or videos of themselves on the Internet to gain attention. The term disparages those who post pictures of themselves at inappropriate times or places, and usually implies self-absorption. A variety of attention whore (see above), typically a young woman who will do anything on her webcam in exchange for attention, money, items from Amazon.com wishlists or just to be generally slutty. The viewers are generally middle aged men.”

(definitions from Urban Dictionary, Wikipedia, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Pics from browseusers.myspace.com/)

Determination.

If you’re just not sure if you fit into any or all of these categories, then be sure that you proceed to the Myspace Whoretest.

Instruction.

If you failed the test, but still want to be Myspace whore, study and implement the following instructions. In 3 parts…from ashleychristine07

MYSPACE EMO/SCENE 101.

1. Pictures – Get thick rimmed glasses — not nerdy, more of a retro look. Make it so that one eye is covered by your hair. Preferably side parted bangs. Put black eyeliner on. Even of you are a guy. This adds the perfect emo touch. Wear tight pants — and a tight shirt — its a must! Hold the camera yourself. Either look up and to the side as though you are thinking or look down and to the side. Do not smile. Have a sad “woe is me, my life sucks” look on your face. Snap the picture. If this is too hard than do the above and take the picture in a mirror. Make sure flash = off. Now you have an emo picture. Upload it to your computer and go to your photo editing program– make the picture black and white. Now you have the perfect emo picture.

2. Music – Go to VCZ and choose an emo video. Basically any emo/punk rock band. Now you have the tunes to go with your picture.

3. Friends – Add other people who have this “emo” look to your friends… So then you can be part of one big happy(sad) emo family!

4. Lyrics – Put lyrics to your favorite emo song in your space. The user title or the quote spot is the most common place. ex. “Cut my wrists and black my eyes” Or put some other emo/sad quote in it ex. “My life sucks”

5. Graphics and Colors – Use colors that are “Punk” or “Retro” or colors that make you feel sad or “blah.” ex. Pink and black. Anything with black. Greys and blues. Put pictures of your favorite bands. Or why not other emo pictures of yourself!

6. Blog it – Make emo blogs daily or weekly about how much your day/week was the worst ever. And hope that people will feel bad for you.

MYSPACE WHORE 101 – Female

1. Pictures - To be a Myspace whore you need to have a good picture. In this picture you should pretend to be like a pin up girl. Pamela Anderson is a good example, or Paris Hilton. So, put on skimpy clothing. A short skirt or tight pants is good, and then a shirt that shows off your cleavage, maybe make it so you can see your thong. If you are tan — this enhances the whore-y-ness and you are one step closer to your ultimate goal. So, either take a face picture that is looking down your cleavage, or have a friend take a body picture of you where you are looking really “sexy.” Now upload the picture and crop it so it is just you in the picture — you can’t have any distractions from the gorgeous you! Now you have the perfect myspace picture.

2. Music – Go to VCZ and chose a song that best suits you. Preferably something that is like poppy/hip hop/rap/r&b. Like Candy Shop, or other songs — esp ones about sex!

3. Friends – Alright, this part is like a contest. You want to see how many guys you can get to add you. You should have a goal to get more than 500 “good looking” males as your myspace friends. You can also be friends with people of the same Myspace attitude as you — other whores.

4. Graphics and Colors – This part is not very specific. It can be girly, or have pictures in the background.

5. Watch your Myspace – If you are doing a good job of being a Myspace whore, you will have many comments on your page and on your pictures of how “gorgeous” and how “hott” and “sexy” you are. Once you recieve multiple messages such as this, you know you have succeeded and become one of the ultimate whores. Congratulations, you just lost respect from any person with a brain and common sense, you should feel accomplished.

MYSPACE WHORE 101 – Male

1. Pictures – For males you have to get a picture of you that is “good” and “hott”– Do you have shaggy hair? Blonde hair and blue eyes? Nice muscles that you can show off? Do you surf or skateboard? Are you in a band and play an instrument? These are all things you should take in to consideration with your pictures. SHOW THESE OFF!!! These are things that will draw the girl’s attention. If you have a nice smile, use it. Dress nice-ish… dont look like a slob. Maybe get a sunglasses picture. That always catches someone’s eye cuz’ it adds mystery. And if you dont have a great face it covers some of it up and makes you look better! So get a good picture and upload it to myspace.

2. Music – Music isnt a huge deal when it comes to being a whore for you guys. Just make sure its not shitty and that its not like hardcore/metal. You should be good.

3. Friends – This is where you will see if you are a good Myspace whore. You should have lots of friends (maybe around 300 and up) — generally of the female “Myspace whore” type. If they are “hott” and you have many of them on your friends page — then you know you are “hott” and doing a good job. Keep up the good work.

4. Graphics and Colors – Make your profile say “I know what I am doing”… “I am hott and you know you want me” that is all you have to do. Different things turn different girls on, so you have to find your perfect whoring template.

5. Watch your Myspace – If you are doing the right job of being a Myspace whore, you shud be getting a lot of girls as myspace friends. They will leave lots of comments and give you their AIM screen name because you= hawt. If you talk to them online — be sweet and try to keep yourself on their good side. Compliment them.

Software Assistance.

If you’ve followed the above steps and you’re still a mere trollop, then try these simple software packages.

1. Myspace Friend Adder Get lots of Myspace Friends – FREE! *Simple and safe way to get friends! Start sending requests within seconds of signing up, while others do the same to you with a click of a button to request. * Great for any Myspace user! Everyone wants to have more friends. It’s also a great way to promote your music as you have more viewers.

2. Myspace Friends Whorecode – We will automatically lookup your information and generate an “add to friends” link. Use this anywhere you want to get more Myspace friends on your friends list.

3. There’s even a firefox plugin. MyspaceBar – Firefox Extension: An unofficial toolbar for the social networking site, Myspace

State of the Whoredom.

FFF: Thank you very much Mr. Gates, Mr. Jobs, Mr. Anderson, Mr. DeWolfe, members of Myspace, distinguished Diggers, and fellow bloggers: As we gather tonight, our data is at war, our bandwidth is in recession, and the civilized web faces unprecedented dangers. Yet the state of the Whoredom has never been stronger.

(keystrokes & mouseclicks from the left & right!!!!)

So there you have it folks. And now you’re in the know.

Pimps Up…fff.

Post from: FastandLoud.com

The Definitive Myspace Whore Collective: Friendwhores, Scenewhores, Attentionwhores, Camwhores, and regular Whores.

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I am a consumer of music. Always have been. But record labels don’t want my money anymore.

I bought music with the first greenbacks that ever touched my little blue velcro wallet. My first album…Quiet Riot – Metal Health (hell yeah). My second…Cyndi Lauper – She’s So Unusual (cause girls just wanna have fun & it’s important for boys to understand that at a very young age!) . My collection includes vinyl, tapes, CDs, DVDs, with most of it stored to MP3s for easy access & portability. Over the years, I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on music: buying the latest releases, amassing a collection of classic albums , attending hundreds of concerts, buying posters (I still love you Lita Ford if you’re out there), concert DVDs, limited vinyl releases, tons of logo-sporting black t-shirts/hats (to my wife’s dismay); as well as the home, auto, and personal audio gear needed to enjoy it all (and of course, upgrading with every format change). A terrible habit, I tend to overlook because of my torrid love affair with music.

But the latest releases from Sony BMG have incorporated some of the most poorly executed copy protection ever seen . Oh don’t worry…it’s just a little software tool that allows hackers to gain and maintain access to your computer system without your consent or knowledge.

To twist the dagger even further, there’s this:
pic via…bad bad coldplay

The Coldplay CD X&Y has a sneaky little insert (that can’t be seen until after the purchase) with a laundry list of devices the CD won’t play on related to the copy protection. And I quote…”This CD cannot be burnt onto a CD-R or hard disc, nor can it be converted to an MP3 for file sharing.” This CD may not play in some CD players, DVD players, car stereos, portable players, game players, all PCs and Macintosh PCs. And the kicker…”Except for manufacturing problems, we do not accept product exchange, return or refund…”

Another reason to not buy whiny English downer pop, but this isn’t about Coldplay. It’s about the frivolous ideology behind (and the piss-poor implementation of) the copy protection. Think about it…I can download the entire album for free (illegally, but free none the less), rootkit free, while I eat breakfast, and have it readily available to every audio device I own. Or…I can goto the store, deal with some floor salesman who doesn’t know what band/album I’m talking about while trying to sell me an extended warranty on a CD, stand in line for 20 minutes, and pay $20 for Sony to install some virus-ware unknowingly on my computer that I can’t remove, and hopefully it will play on one of my CD players.

There’s no decision here folks. Therein lies the problem. I don’t need record labels making it hard for me to enjoy the music. And even harder for me to buy it.

Just like the dubbing tape deck, VCR, and DAT recorder; MP3s are set to ruin sales (wink, wink), despite the fact that the history of these devices has significantly proven otherwise. P2P internet file sharing, perfect audio copies, and cheap hard drive space is a bigger pond than your little circle of friends tape dubbing crew in the 80’s. And as a musician, I understand the problem with global music sharing. Simply…record companies don’t get paid under their current business model. A slump in record sales equals job insecurity (execs and artists alike). The lawsuit-happy RIAA wants to squarely place the focus on the starving musicians. The record label/artist relationship, however, is a little more delicate and complex. (see The Truth About Record Labels, George Michael goes back to Sony, Prince signs deal for new album). And yes, I understand…there is a reason they call it the music business. Quite literally, you would never hear or see artists without the work that goes into the recording and promotion thereof. That’s how it works. Bands need the big push & record labels need to make money. The days of artist development and multi-album deals are long gone. We’ve come full circle back to the singularity of “the hit.” Think Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Buddy Holly…name any of their 1st albums…I can’t. Name their hit songs (or record A-sides)….easy…exactly. It’s all about the hit. The one song that sells a million, makes the girls scream on MTV, spurs concert attendance ($50-$80+ a ticket now a days…ouch), and band merchandise/figurine sales. You don’t need solid albums anymore. I would dare say, you’re iPod is full of hits, not albums.

So wake up record labels, embrace the future, and smell the half-caf. low-fat hazelnut latte. Put it on the web, at a fair price, tack on a B-side, and at least let me rip it to my stuff. I’ve got enough trouble reading the poorly translated instruction manuals for all of the gear I need just to play it.

Oh…and thanks Sony for F*ing up my computer & the free downloads.

Copy protection, smoppy protection…VIVA LA MIXTAPE / CD / PLAYLIST!!!
rock, fff

If you’re out buying music, steer clear of the copy protected versions of these titles:

1. Afrocelts, Seed
2. Air, Talkie Walkie
3. Angel City, “Love Me Right” single
4. The Animals, A’s B’s & EP’s
5. Asian Dub Foundation, Enemy of the State
6. Athlete, Vehicles and Animals
7. Atomic Kitten, Feels So Good
8. Atomic Kitten, Ladies Night
9. Atomic Kitten, “If You Come To Me” single
10. Audio Bullys, Ego War
11. Melissa Auf Der Maur
12. Kevin Ayers, Joy of a Toy
13. Kevin Ayers, Whatevershebringswesing
14. Kevin Ayers and The Whole World, Shooting At The Moon
15. Michael Ball, A Love Story
16. The Bangles, Doll Revolution
17. Syd Barrett, The Madcap Laughs / Barrett
18. The Beatles, Let It Be… Naked
19. The Be Good Tanyas, Chinatown
20. Benny Benassi presents The Biz, “Able To Live” single
21. Benny Benassi presents The Biz, “Satisfaction” single
22. Bent, “Stay the Same” single
23. Dierks Bentley
24. Cilla Black, Beginnings
25. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Take Them On, On Your Own
26. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, “Stop” single
27. Blindspott
28. Blue, “Guilty” single
29. Blue feat. Elton John, “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word” single
30. Blur, Think Tank
31. Bodyjar, Jarchives
32. Bodyjar, “Too Drunk To Drive” single
33. Boogie Pimps, “Somebody To Love” single
34. David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust film soundtrack (2CD reissue version)**
35. David Bowie, Aladdin Sane (2CD reissue version)
36. Michelle Branch, Hotel Paper
37. Michelle Branch, “Are You Happy Now” single
38. David Bridie, Hotel Radio
39. David Bridie, “Hotel Radio” single
40. David Bridie, “100 Flowers In Bloom” single
41. Sarah Brightman, Harem
42. Armin van Buuren presents Perpetuous Dreamer, “The Sound of Goodbye” single
43. Lee Cabrera feat. Alex Cartana, “Shake It” single
44. Chris Cagle
45. John Cale, HoboSapiens
46. Glen Campbell, The Essential Glen Campbell
47. Bec Cartwright
48. Bec Cartwright, “A Matter Of Time” single
49. Rosanne Cash, Rules Of Travel
50. Troy Cassar-Daley, Borrowed & Blue
51. The Cat Empire
52. The Cat Empire, “Days Like These” single
53. Kasey Chambers, “True Colours” single
54. Chemical Brothers, Singles 93-03
55. Chingy, Jackpot
56. Chingy, “Right Thurr” single
57. Client
58. Cold Chisel, Ringside
59. Coldplay, “God Put A Smile On Your Face” single
60. The Cooper Temple Clause, Kick Up The Fire, and Let The Flames Break Loose
61. Ferry Corsten, “Rock Your Body Rock” single
62. The Cube, Permanent Scars
63. The Cube, “Cubism” single
64. The Dandy Warhols, Welcome To The Monkey House (unconfirmed)
65. The Dandy Warhols, “Plan A” single
66. The Dandy Warhols, “We Used To Be Friends” single
67. The Dandy Warhols, “You Were The Last High” single
68. The Darkness, Permission To Land (albeit not on all copies I’ve seen)
69. Daughterboy Jao, Fake Blood and the Rest is Unknown EP
70. Miles Davis, Birdland 1951
71. Deepest Blue
72. Deep Purple, Bananas
73. Dirty Vegas, Simple Things EP
74. Dr Hook, The Definitive Collection
75. Placido Domingo, Bravo! Domingo—The Best Of
76. Fats Domino, The Essential Fats Domino
77. Doves, Lost Sides
78. Downsyde, Land of the Giants
79. Anne Dudley, Seriously Chilled
80. Slim Dusty, Columbia Lane
81. The Electric Soft Parade, The American Adventure
82. Enigma, Voyageur
83. Everclear, Slow Motion Daydream
84. Adam Faith, A’s B’s & EP’s
85. Fountains Of Wayne, Welcome Interstate Managers
86. Fountains Of Wayne, “Stacy’s Mom” single
87. Funeral For A Friend, Casually Dressed & Deep In Conversation
88. Futureshock, Phantom Theory
89. Dave Gahan, Paper Monsters
90. Dave Gahan, “Dirty Sticky Floors” single
91. Gelbison, 1704
92. Gelbison, “Good God” single
93. The Givegoods, I Want To Kill A Rich Man***
94. The Givegoods, “I Want To Kill A Rich Man” single
95. Goldfrapp, Black Cherry
96. Goodwill, “Happenis” single
97. Martin Gore, Counterfeit 2
98. Jonny Greenwood, Bodysong
99. GT, “Kid Dynamite” single
100. David Guetta, Just A Little More Love
101. Jennifer Hanson
102. Ed Harcourt, From Every Sphere
103. Ben Harper, Diamonds on the Inside
104. Emmylou Harris, Stumble Into Grace
105. Hell Is For Heroes, The Neon Handshake
106. The Hollies, A’s, B’s & EP’s
107. Hoodoo Gurus, Ampology
108. Hoodoo Gurus, Mach Schau
109. The Human League, The Very Best Of
110. Indigo Girls, All That We Let Be
111. Interpol, Black EP
112. Iron Maiden, Dance Of Death
113. Janet Jackson, Damita Jo
114. Janet Jackson, “Just A Little While” single
115. Jakatta, “One Fine Day” single
116. Jane’s Addiction, Strays
117. Japan, Gentlemen Take Polaroids
118. Jet, Get Born
119. Jet, “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” single
120. Jet, “Rollover DJ” single
121. Jewel, 0304
122. Norah Jones, Come Away With Me
123. Norah Jones, Feels Like Home
124. Mandy Kane, “Stab” single
125. Kelis, Tasty
126. Kelis, “Milkshake” single
127. Paul Kelly, Ways and Means
128. Paul Kelly, “Won’t You Come Around” single
129. Kraftwerk, Tour de France Soundtracks
130. Kraftwerk, “Tour de France 2003″ single
131. Lambchop, Aw C’mon (albeit only on a promo copy I saw; I don’t think the proper release is CCed)
132. Annie Lennox, Bare (albeit not on all copies I’ve seen)
133. The Living End, Modern Artillery
134. The Living End, “One Said To The Other” single
135. The Living End, “Tabloid Magazine” single
136. The Living End, “Who’s Gonna Save Us” single
137. Living Loud
138. Alex Lloyd, Watching Angels Mend
139. Alex Lloyd, Distant Light
140. Alex Lloyd, “Beautiful” single
141. Alex Lloyd, “Coming Home” single
142. Julie London, The Essential Julie London
143. Courtney Love, America’s Sweetheart
144. Liam Lynch, Fake Songs
145. Shelby Lynne, Identity Crisis
146. Magazine, Real Life / Secondhand Daylight
147. Maksim, The Piano Player
148. Manfred Mann, A’s B’s & EP’s
149. Lene Marlin, Another Day
150. Wynton Marsalis Quartet, The Magic Hour
151. Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis, s/t (EMI Comedy series)
152. Massive Attack, 100th Window
153. Kylie Minogue, Body Language (Japanese import version; not sure if the regular issue is CCed)
154. Keb’ Mo’, Keep It Simple
155. Gary Moore, The Essential Gary Moore
156. Van Morrison, What’s Wrong With This Picture
157. N.E.R.D., Fly Or Die
158. Les Nubians, One Step Forward
159. Mike Oldfield, Tubular Bells 2003
160. Mike Oldfield, The Complete Tubular Bells
161. OMD, Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
162. OMD, Architecture and Morality
163. OMD, Organisation
164. Stacie Orrico
165. Beth Orton, The Other Side Of Daybreak
166. Pacifier, Live
167. Panjabi MC, “Beware Of The Boys” single
168. Amanda Perez, Angel
169. A Perfect Circle, Thirteenth Step
170. Lee Perry & Gary Eck, The Hollywood Motel
171. The Persian Rugs, Turkish Delight
172. Pet Shop Boys, Disco 3
173. Placebo, Sleeping With Ghosts
174. Placebo, Sleeping With Ghosts / The Covers
175. Pnau, Again
176. P.O.D., Payable On Death
177. Iggy Pop, Skull Ring
178. Lisa Marie Presley, “Lights Out” single
179. Queen, Live At Wembley ‘86
180. Radiohead, Hail To The Thief
181. Radiohead, “Go To Sleep” single
182. Radiohead, “2+2=5″ single
183. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Greatest Hits and Videos
184. Resin Dogs, Hi-Fidelity Dirt
185. Cliff Richard, World Tour Live
186. Richard X, X Factor Volume 1
187. Richard X feat. Kelis, “Finest Dreams” single
188. Charlie Rouse, Bossa Nova Bacchanal
189. Rodney Rude, Rude Bastard
190. Room 5, Music & You
191. Room 5, “Music & You” single
192. Salmonella Dub, One Step East
193. Scorpions, The Essential Scorpions
194. Seal, IV
195. Helen Shapiro, A’s B’s & EP’s
196. Silverchair, “Across the Night” single
197. Simple Minds, Early Gold
198. Bob Sinclar, “Kiss My Eyes” single
199. Skin, Fleshwounds
200. The Sleepy Jackson, Lovers
201. The Sleepy Jackson, “Vampire Racecourse” single
202. The Sleepy Jackson, “Good Dancers” single
203. The Sleepy Jackson, “Come To This” single
204. Snap!, “Rhythm Is A Dancer 2003″ single
205. Snap! vs Motivo, “The Power of Bhangra” single
206. Snoop Dogg, “Beautiful” single
207. Spiritualized, Complete Works vol. 1
208. Staind, 14 Shades of Grey
209. Starsailor, Silence Is Easy
210. Starsailor, “Silence Is Easy” single
211. Stereopol, “Dancin’ Tonight” single
212. Joss Stone, The Soul Sessions
213. Stylophonic, Man Music Technology
214. Sugar Ray, The Pursuit Of Leisure
215. The Superjesus, Rock Music
216. The Superjesus, “Over And Out” single
217. Talk Talk, The Essential Talk Talk
218. Thalia
219. Thalia, “I Want You” single
220. Third Eye Blind, Out of the Vein
221. The Thrills, So Much For The City
222. Yann Tiersen, Goodbye Lenin soundtrack
223. Peter Tosh, The Best of Peter Tosh 1976-1987
224. Tribalising, “Ja sei namorar” single
225. Tube & Berger ftg. Chrissie Hynde, “Straight Ahead” single
226. Turin Brakes, Ether Song
227. UB40, Homegrown
228. UB40, Labour of Love I, II and III
229. Ultrasun, “We Can Runaway” single
230. Bobby Vee, The Essential Bobby Vee
231. The Vines, Winning Days
232. The Vines, “Ride” single
233. The Vipers, The Very Best of The Vipers Skiffle Group
234. Westside Connection, Terrorist Threats
235. Westside Connection, “Gangsta Nation” single
236. Widelife ftg. Simone Denny, “All Things (Just Keep Getting Better)” single
237. Robbie Williams, Escapology
238. John Williamson, Mates On The Road
239. John Williamson, Old Farts In Caravan Parks
240. John Williamson, True Blue Two
241. Nancy Wilson, Collection
242. Lucy Woodward, While You Can
243. Yanni, Ethnicity
244. Yellowcard, Ocean Avenue
245. Larry Young, Mother Ship
246. Various, Best of Mersey Beat
247. Various, Empirical Records Presents State Of The Art
248. Various, The Greatest Musicals
249. Various, Hello Children Everywhere! Volume Two
250. Various, Heroes
251. Various, Karaoke2003
252. Various, KaraokeAbba
253. Various, Lady Sings The Blues vol. 2
254. Various, Late Night Piano Bar
255. Various, Legends
256. Various, Legends II
257. Various, Minit: The Soul of Minit Records
258. Various, Music from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
259. Various, NOW Hot 30 Countdown
260. Various, Off The Wall: 10 Years Of Wall Of Sound
261. Various, The Original 60s Summer Album
262. Various, Peace & Unity
263. Various, RnB Version 2.0
264. Various, Toyota Golden Guitar Awards: The Winners 2003
265. Various, West Papua: Sound of the Morning Star
266. Various, Women In Blue
267. Various, World Chill
268. Various, The World’s Absolutely Best Ever Beer Songs vol. 2

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Record labels continue to sucker punch music consumers. Newest copy protected CDs: no MP3s, no Macs, some PCs, some CD/DVD players, some car stereos

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I was dead for 0.25 seconds twice on Thursday. No really, I’ve got the EKGs to prove it. Full-on VH1 Behind the Music rock star style!!! Burn out, not fade away. I didn’t see the light (see Poltergeist – Carol Anne). I didn’t see Jesus (we had a nice conversation, however) or the Devil and I didn’t crap my pants…thank goodness.

It’s Thursday morning, I’m lying on a stretcher in the ER, wires going everywhere, IV fluids pumping, the crash (as in “crash&burn”) cart by my side, and my heart’s doing the neutron dance. I’m in a cold sweat and pretty close to pale. My chest feels exquisitely weird, kinda like that little flutter you get sometimes after a pot of coffee…just like that, but non-stop. I haven’t had any drugs (over the counter or otherwise), coffee, or mysterious poisonings from my wife (yet). Hmmm…a drummer in the wrong rhythm, funny…I get it. Damn the IRONY…the HUMANITY…the HORROR!!! This…could very well ruin my day. The doc says I’ve basically got three options:

1. drugs that slow down the heart rate & maybe the rhythm will return to normal, maybe… 2. straight ride the lightning electrical conversion – you know…..clear, clear, you clear, I’m clear, and bzzzzzsssttt…nice and bye bye chest hair. 3. stay in this rhythm, throw some clots to the head/lungs, stroke out, and live miserably ever after…great.

Preparing for the worst case scenario, a nurse comes in with towels & and Bic disposable razors (no water/no foam) for my chest hair. She’s thinking Chewbacca at the dog groomer and I’m thinking Eddie Scissorhands in the Amazon.

I’ll take what’s behind door #1, Monty. DRUGS baby!!! Whatever you got! Smoking chest hair ain’t my thing! But do whatever you gotta do! I just wanna live! I just wanna tell my wife I love her. And what about the kids? Who’s gonna look after the kids when I’m gone? Relax…you’re not gonna die…and you don’t have any kids. Right… Just a lack of blood flow to your head… Brilliant…I feel my IQ dropping and I think my crack’s showing out the back of this hospital gown. I mean…I not dumb boy in dress. Breathe…because we’re about to stop your heart. What?!?!? For the appetizer, we’d like to try a drug that actually makes the the heart stop. It’s just for a split second and it might(read might) reset the heart’s electrical system.

DRUG WARNING!!! Use the little boy’s room, lay down, relax, & close your eyes before this drug happens to you. As you can imagine, your body instantly “goes on strike” when your heart stops. And you don’t want to be in the midst of operating heavy machinery, I promise.

So…this is where my heart stops with minimal drama, no choirs of angels calling my name or hordes of demons slithering about, just:

2 seconds of chill (I mean super-chill) 2 seconds of warm (like your entire body immersed in a warm bath) 2 seconds of heavy (like one of those gravity rides at the fair) then it’s Good Morning Vietnam and WE’RE BACK!!!

They try two doses…cause we really want to test my mortality. Now, I’m admittedly a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but flying ignorant in the reaper’s face while dodging his scythe (yes…it’s really a scythe, not a sickle) is a little more X-TREME!!! than I typically enjoy. And the whole time I’m thinking that I don’t have a great 2 day bender, 12 pots of coffee, 43 tequila shots, farm animals, firetrucks, and a trashed hotel room story. Several hours, tests, and drugs later; I get to spend the night in the Cardiac Care Unit (CCU) and I’m in a heart rhythm called atrial fibrillation (a.fib for short). And an interesting version of it called “lone” a.fib that can just randomly occur in healthy people. “Lone” meaning that we don’t really know what caused it.

And just as simply as I went into a.fib, I converted back to normal rhythm. I mean…after a few thousand dollars of medical care & several A-Team reruns later, of course. And let me tell you one thing people…peeing in a plastic urinal while lying in bed is really hard. So…if you feel something funny in your chest (Arrhythmias, Heart Attack, Stroke, & Cardiac Arrest), have it checked out today. Right now even. Don’t delay, it could save your life!!! Lastly…A big shout-out to all the ER staff, Nurses, Techs, Docs, and Chaplains who looked after me. Especially the CCU nurses, who kept me comfy and warned me about the infamous stuffed pepper entree (FYI diarrhea can increase length of hospital stay).

currently in the appropriate rhythm, fff

Post from: FastandLoud.com

A.Fib is not A.Fun or Atrial Fibrillation (It’s like a kick in the chest!!!!)

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Yup, I said it. Myspace ruins lives. And shamefully…I’ve fed the Myspace beast.

So you say… “what is this Myspace devil-net and how can I protect myself from it’s damning tentacles?”

Firstly…Myspace is an incredibly addictive (I admit it) online social network. Basically, a not-so-personal weblog diary with pictures. According to the terms and conditions of the site, you must be at least 14 years old to join. But believe me, ANYONE can join Myspace. Users are asked to fill out a personal profile including photos, likes/dislikes in music, sexuality, religion, body type, ethnicity, education, zodiac, etc., etc. Users can browse/search for other users through common interests or photos and request to add them as “friends.” Friends can leave comments, links, pictures, etc. As you can image, people flood the place pretending to be someone(thing) that they are not (read – 14 year old girls saying they’re 21 or…30 year old dudes saying that they’re a 16 year old boy or girl). Click on myspace is gay for sad-but-true photo examples. I understand Myspace can’t control this. They respectfully CYA here . And yes…there are loads of legitimate Myspacers just being themselves.

Secondly…Myspace cannot protect YOU from YOURself. If you post it, someone will see it.

Thirdly…still don’t know what myspace is, check out…MySpace: from Answers.com

And…in case you didn’t know…

Mommies and Daddies!
1. your little 14 year old daughter is posting semi-nude pictures of herself, her address, phone number, and where she’s gonna be Friday night. Oh…is that a beer and/or a joint that I see in those pictures she posted? Smart…(see Why the internet can be a bad place to meet people. A murder in Virginia. The Taylor Behl story. )
2. your little Tommy has been posting about how he’s gonna kill himself or somebody else because he feels all alone. (see Teens Both Kept Weblogs)
3. If you still don’t know what the hell is going on, check out…Internet Safety: Internet 101 – Blog and Diary Web sites

LADIES!!!
1. As much as I enjoy the female figure(and I do)…posting semi-nude pictures of yourself does nothing for that little self-esteem issue (implants don’t fix this either – hugs/affirmation do). This is not Myporn. You can be a real adult film “star” with a few simple phone calls or web clicks.
2. And for you teen girls…posting nude/semi-nude pics is ILLEGAL. This is not Mykiddieporn (which = jail time, btw). Oh, and you might wanna googleMap your local Sex Offenders with the free US Sex Offender Registry Mapping System just to be safe.

DUDE!!!
1. Stop taking pictures of your penis & your abs. Seriously.
2. Seriously.

Recently, I saw this… And started considering the impact this is having on people (mainly teens, tweens). So, I googled “myspace ruined mylife”and “myspace effect”…

Well I have been puting off joining myspace, but I finally had enough of being bugged by friends to join so I did it. To be honest I think it has ruined my life. I check it a thousand times a day, mostly to chat with this girl I have been seeing. I also have succummed to the blog, I filled out my first one today. I really don’t know how I feel about writing out my feeling for the world to see. I have been up to my ears in work. I’m up to an alltime high of four different jobs, oh yeah and there is school too. I have never felt so drained in my life. deviantART: ElHefe: Journal

The sites appeared on the school’s radar when administrators learned a student was communicating online with someone who was not truthful about who they were, their age and where they lived…Blogging ban provokes a debate over cyberspace

Check out the # of comments Myspace blocked on school computers.

I was going to go to sleep, really, but then I decided to be a myspace slut. I get these moments where I wander [figuratively] around alone on myspace late at night, or very drunk. And since the blinds are down and the overhead light is off, it seems like the middle of the night. Then again, my propensity to be overly amused by myspace has, effectively, ruined my life. It’s the awkward myspace condition. A m n e s i a

Yes, yes…I know this applies to all similar online activities (including blogging -wink,wink). Myspace, however, is the number one social networking site (26 million+ members) and one addictive mutha (even for adults). I do applaud Myspace for it’s inherent marketing/promotion ability & for starting the Myspace Record label which is F*ing GENIUS.

my name is fff
and I used to myspace.
Hello, fff.

Post from: FastandLoud.com

Myspace ruins Yourlife

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