Hands off my Autotuner!

I found the following spoof public service announcement from Kid Rock about stealing pretty hilarious and down right poignant.

Even though, I really haven’t been a fan of Kid Rock since Devil Without a Cause (DWAC), I still think that he is/will be an important figure in the annals of rock ‘n’ roll history. Kid has figured out that you don’t have to be segregated into some little sub-genre to be successful. He is the master of laying it all out the table (fast and loud style!). He’s rock, he’s rap, he’s country. He’s been on MTV, MTV2, VH1, Fuse, probably CMT, and maybe BET all in the same year.The DWAC album combined rock, metal, rap, and hiphop like no other. It was a brilliantly bastardized culmination of struggling to make it, personal hardship, and borderline poverty – which ALWAYS makes for the best music (ex. Guns ‘n’ Roses – Appetite for Destruction, Prince – Purple Rain, Black Crowes – Shake Your Money Maker, etc., etc.)

I'm f*ing rich.

Kid’s follow-up album and 7th historical release, History of Rock, was a compilation of songs from the 5 albums prior to DWAC. It only contained one new song. At the peak of his new found popularity, he knew he could sell Pet Rocks for a profit.  Simply put, it was a money-generating stopgap while he toured the DWAC album and a fiscally sound idea at that time.  Most people don’t understand that globe-trotting the world to support your current album (which you still owe money on) while your record label is threatening to drop you if you don’t keep churning out hits is rough business. Major label sophomoric efforts are usually the nail in the coffin for most new bands. You had 18-20 years to make that first album, and 18 months (while you are trying to adjust to your new life) to make the follow-up. Ask any songwriter – that $hit is hard.

So 10 years, 3 Pam Anderson relationships (including 3 Tommy Lee reruns), 5 albums, several hits, and several new band members later; I have great respect for Robert James Ritchie. He’s a a true white trash hero. But I probably won’t be buying or stealing Kid’s next album until he can grab me by the seat of my pants the way the intro to Bawitdaba did (and still does!)

MY NAME IS F…………………….FFF BABY!

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Kid Rock’s PSA on Stealing – Music, iPods, Clothes, Cars, Laptops

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RIP Gunslinger

Bo Diddley died Monday of heart failure at his home in Archer, FL after months of ill health. He was 79.

“Saw my baby run across the field,
Slippin’ and slidin’ like an automobile,
Hollerin’, my baby got towed away,
Slipped on from me like a cadillac-8.
Hey bo diddley, oh bo diddley,
Hey bo diddley, oh bo diddley.”

Cowboy Mouth turned me onto Bo Diddley in the early 90’s.

Sadly…after their first major record label deal…

Cowboy Mouth: stopped playing 3-4hr shows (to only play songs from the new album), stopped flipping over tables covered in beer bottles to drum on the legs and sweat on the fans (for insurance purposes, I guess), stopped hanging from the rafters while still singing and Paul on the kick drum (also insurance I assume), stopped playing songs from the 1st album (that made me love and miss my friends), stopped making want to scream until I lost my voice (because I did every show), stopped making me want to drive from South Louisiana to North Mississippi to Memphis, Tennessee to catch 3 shows in 3 nights, and stopped being fun. Also, they’ve gone Spinal Tap with bass players and dropped key members. Cowboy Mouth always has been and always will be Fred, Paul, and John Thomas.

Yes we’re all getting older, but 90’s Cowboy Mouth is MIA.

Cowboy Mouth (I Can Tell cover) – Now, THATS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

Miss you Gunslinger & ’90s Cowboy Mouth…fff

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Bo Diddley (1928-2008) – Cowboy Mouth MIA

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Links from Teh Show

Fast&Loud
Tech-Recipes
PopURLs
Jing
Digg
Semantic Web
ReadWriteWeb.com
Greasemonkey
User scripts for Greasemonkey
Lolcats
Hawk with bird claw
360 Billion dollar check

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Teh Show v0.1 – Episode One

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What is your major malfunction?

I’m not usually the political type, but poet John S. Hall lays it down on US Foreign Policy.

“God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?”

So sad, so funny, so true…

Born & bred – Stars and Bars baby!

fff

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US Foreign Policy to a T – America Kicks Ass!

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In Myspace Ruins Yourlife, I tried giving you the lowdown with text about how people are posting incriminating things about themselves on the internet and throwing abandon to the wind. Sometimes 95 pictures is worth more than 95k words. ALL of these pictures are from PUBLIC profiles on Myspace.com (i.e. they posted these themselves).

Rated NQSFW (not quite suitable for work)!!!!

And yes…you do look like a slut.

See…I told you.

P.S. Whitney…Put down the pipe, put that man down, and please come home.
XOXOXO!
fff

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Children are the Future – Myspace Video

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For real…This is the implosion of Baptist Memorial Hospital in downtown Memphis, TN; where Elvis was treated on several occasions, where the official prounouncement of his death occurred, and where his daughter Lisa Marie was born.

Thursday, August 17, 1977 – Shortly after midnight Elvis returns to Graceland from a late-night visit to the dentist. He retires to his master suite at Graceland around 7:00 AM to rest for his evening flight. Presley’s body was discovered at 2:30 p.m. by his road manager in a bathroom

in the Graceland Mansion. He was rushed to the Baptist Memorial Hospital shown here and pronounced dead. In Memphis, the telephone system was reported unable to handle the volume of calls coming into the city from around the country. Hundreds of weeping fans immediately gathered outside Baptist Memorial and Graceland Mansion.

Whoa Momma.

“DEATH CAPTURES CROWN OF ROCK AND ROLL” – The Commercial Appeal – “The ambulance hit the gate as it was going in [to Graceland] … There was severe cardiovascular disease present … Dr. Fransisco said … there was no indication of drug abuse of any kind. He said the only evidence of drugs involved those Presley was taking for his physical condition …”

“This is the end of rock ‘n’ roll,” said Bob Moore Merlis, an executive with Warner Bros. Records.

“The void he will leave is impossible to gauge,” said Pat Boone.

R.I.P. King

fff

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The Building Has Left Elvis Video

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That sweet little thing from The Professional and some horrible CGI space prequels that don’t deserve to have StarWars in the title (G. Lucas – there’s a special place in HELL for you for adding CGI to IV-VI, but I digress) goes hardcore.

WARNING – EXPLICIT LANGUAGE -NSFW!!!

Click the pic for the video.

enjoy,
fff

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Natalie Portman Hardcore Video (rap, that is)

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One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey! Well, there’s too much traffic, I can’t pass, no! - S. Hagar

These guys create a rolling roadblock on an Atlanta Freeway by obeying the speed limit. People start losing their cool mighty quickly & they’ve got the video to prove it.

WORK WARNING – There are some dirty words used in the video…how naughty!!!

Buckle up! It’s the law!
fff

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I Can Drive 55 & I Will…DagNabIt

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Electric car designer, Wright, competes in a race with $170,000 Ferrari and a $400,000 Porsche. Wright’s X1 cost $150,000 and beat the other two, reaching 112 mph in just 11.1 seconds. This is insane. Pay attention to the exhaust notes…

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Wrightspeed X1 Electric Car smokes Porsche Ferarri

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